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July 02, 2013



You've done the right thing.
Proud of you for trying.
So glad to see you posting.

I can almost hear the sighs of relief from you and Josh - as you walk into your own home.


20 months is downright impressive. Give yourself a break. (And welcome home.)


Your interviewer is kind of a smart ass! ;) Seriously, I don't know how you managed it for that long; giving up your lives and home is no mean task. Give yourself credit for what you've done because most of us wouldn't do the same. I'm 2 minutes away from my parents' house, but I don't think I would have the guts to move in. They have all their own routines and I have mine; they(we) wouldn't mesh very well. Glad you're back in the little yellow house!!


Oh, yeah, and LUNG CANCER SUCKS!


What you did was admirable, and enough. Glad to have you back!


Welcome home! Perhaps now that you know his habits, it will be a little easier to keep an eye out, have knowledge about what's going on, and intervene quickly if things go south. Like, you know what's normal and what's not normal now. You got him over the hump, you know, and you're only 15 minutes away!


Not only a saint but really honest too.
I'm awfully happy for you and hope you're spending the 4th running around the house (inside) naked.



I'm so happy you got to go home. You did your best and got him through a really, really rough spot. Don't worry, there will be more stuff and you'll be more likely to be able to deal with it rationally if he's not driving you crazy 24/7. I do not know how caregivers do it. I really don't think I could. And I hope you will blog a little bit! :-)


I'm so happy to see you!

Also, this reminds me of when people say "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I could only manage it for a year" and I think, "But that's WONDERFUL!! You did it for a LONG TIME! There was a HUGE BENEFIT from that!" In your case, which perhaps it is kind of gross and awkward to think of right next to a breastfeeding example, I'm not thinking, "You could only do 20 months of living with your father-in-law? What a failed attempt!" Instead I think "Wow, that was a LONG time you lived with him. A LONG TIME. You got him through the ENTIRE FIRST YEAR after his wife died, and then you stayed MORE THAN HALF OF ANOTHER YEAR. There was a HUGE BENEFIT from that!" In fact, it's more like someone saying, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I could only do it for four years. I WANTED to be the kind of mother who breastfed her children, but I guess I'm just too selfish." I'm a little speechless you lived with him for so long. People...DON'T go live with their aging relatives like that.

Pam J.

Facebook has stolen far too many good bloggers from us. I'm glad you're back and hope you continue blogging. 20 months is quite saintly.

Pickles & Dimes

Wow, 20 months is a really long time, and you guys were there for him during the toughest part. What you did was wonderful.

Miz Robyn

I wouldn't have made it 20 minutes with either of my fathers-in-law. You are good people, and should be congratulating yourself - and give that smartass interviewer a smack for me (okay, that FUNNY smartass interviewer.)


First, congrats on your daughter getting married and so sorry to hear about your dad.

Second, 20 months! Are you kidding me? I'd be lucky to live with my dad (or my father-in-law) for 20 days without it straining my marriage and sanity to the breaking point. You went above and beyond. Happy for you that you are back in your own house.

Cathy S.

I think the interviewer should go live with your FIL, because you and Josh are wonderful and kind and heroic! 20 months is a long time and you need to give yourself more credit for doing and surviving a very hard thing! Enjoy your celebration of freedom! And welcome back to blogging!


You two are wonderful beyond words. You made it 19 months and 3 weeks longer than I would've. Seriously.

Mary Lou

Ditto everything already said. I am happy for you both.


Aren't y'all about the most awesomey family. You did a fine thing and I am so glad you are home.


I have thought about you and Josh often, wondering how you were doing. I think you are both wonderful for staying for almost two whole years with your father-in-law. That is a long time, and it sounds like you had a lot going on. I am very sorry to hear about your dad, how is your mom doing?

Happy news about the wedding, any chance of pictures once you get settled in?


I love that you have an Intense Happiness category. Seeing as how this is the first time since you've written anything in that category in over a year, um, yeah. That kind of explains a lot.

Pushkin must be so pleased to be home again...

robin andrea

Twenty months is a long time. My mom stayed with us twice for a month each time, as a kind of practice run to see if we could all live together. It was lovely having her here, but I knew I couldn't do it permanently. It would have driven me absolutely crazy. She moved into an assisted living facility, and I think we are both happier about that.

I'm glad you are home and BLOGGING!


Miz and Mizter need to be really, really proud of themselves, ya hear me?
This nice couple acted from their hearts, which is never without cost. When it came time (and way past time) to look in the family mirror, they saw the next step dictated by their hearts, and they took it. Sincere love isn't usually easy, but worth all the energy a human being (or two) can muster.
So, so glad to hear your news. All of it.


What everyone else said. Welcome Home. I bet your little yellow house is so happy.


Lovely thing that you did. Lovely to have you back.


You did very well! I could not have done it and I was at about the same place you were when you guys moved in with FIL. We finally got her into an assisted living facility and she hated it so much she just basically shut down. She died in April and I still feel guilty a bit but we do what we think is right AT THE TIME. Hindsight is 20/20, yes, but it seems we are usually about six months behind on dealing with issues. Elder care is really so very draining, for our loved elders and for us the caregivers.

Anyway, I am glad you are happy to be home. I am happy your had a wedding to be happy about. And, I am so sorry that you lost your dad. Sigh. It's a rough time of our lives, no?

Welcome back, Mary. Hope to see you posting again.


kris (lowercase)

you know i checked this blog daily for months and then weekly and then stopped except occasionally so write now and i don't check for 20+ days. welcome home.. i went back and read the post you mentioned.. i knew i had commented..go read it.. my m-i-l died in november.. her father is still alive.. she never got that peace and quiet she wanted. i tell my son still the same thing i told him back then.he is 13 now.. i will tell him until i can't tell him.. then i hope to be pts so he can have peace..




Oh, Mary, it's so good to know you're back in your little yellow house where you both belong.

Ditto to what everyone else has said.



I'm so glad you are home again. It was very good of you to do what you did, and you did it, and thank god you are now back home. (You have lives, too!)

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