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October 24, 2011


Pam L

Your situation was exactly what my Dad wanted, except that if we were even visiting and stayed too long he would start telling us we should leave before dark, when were we leaving anyway and are you still here? Of course he already had the Alzheimers then. Ideally he would have had my sister move in, sans husband, but then I think he really thought she was my Mom, long since gone, so a tricky thing there. He was constantly telling his aides to get out when we tried that path. Anyway, you guys are saints to move in and change your lives this way. And your little yellow house is still your little yellow house. It sounds like a good plan, I hope it goes well.


Wow, lots of changes, but they sound like positives. Hard to leave your house though! You're doing what needs to be done and I admire that. Your mom cracks me up. If I get Alzheimer's, I'll probably dust fanatically because I sure hate to do that now!


You are a trooper, it would be hard to pack up and move even if I knew it was the right thing to do. Love your Mom story, I was trying to think what I would do if I get the big 'A'. I'm thinking I'll be ironing everything in sight, since I avoid to now like the plague!


Glossing over the crazy? I should say so! The lines are not difficult to read between, dear girl.

The city house has a certain exterior charm. Your photo shows SUNLIGHT, though I never saw any until the last two hours of my recent week in da city. I wish you much sunshine, good wine, patience, and the continued support of your well-raised progeny. You and that nice Jewish boy are going to need all of the above. For some time to come.

I give you permission, as long as you're glossing over, to use my late and dearest pal's retort to the inevitable question, "How ARE you???" With a straight face, or a coy smile, just say: "I'm fine if you don't want details."

So much admiration have I for both of you. Not even an oy from you. Wow.


Oh, Miz Mary, I do believe I see wings and a halo on you.


Holy crap! I sure didn't see things unfolding like that. I'm a little jealous and resentful that you guys are raising the caregiving bar so high! Gotta say I have very mixed thoughts about all this, but support you 100% 'cause I love you! But I'm just a wee bit worried about your sanity.


Sigh. As usual, Blackbird and Anne manage to say all that needs to be said, just right, in the least number of well chosen words.


Wow! 2011 has been one big year of change for your family. You are to be commended for the move. Not sure I could do that for my in-law/laws. My MIL is very hard to get along with and she never has anything positive to say about anything. That being said, I would hope my kids would do that for me when I am old and feeble.


Wow, as Anne said you are really raising the caregiver bar much higher than I'm afraid I'll be able to go! Plus if I moved in with my FIL I wouldn't have the bonus of listening to arguments about gefilte fish. Would instead likely have to listen to arguments about college football.

the bee

You are the best person ever. I will never leave casa de Betsy. Your mom cleaning out the fridge cracks me up. What a lovely surprise for Pam.
You have set the bar very high my friend. I will not let my parents read this post. Really.
We are going to the ursing-na ome-ha mom and dad, they have pie there. xxxxx0000- Bee


Wow. That is a very unselfish and dramatic move.

But, I wonder ... how DOES one tell if gefiltefish is "OLD"?


Susan Harris

Wonderful news, and God bless you! (Pretending for a moment that I believe in one.) I'm available for gardening help any time, of course.


Straight to heaven on the express elevator.
You know how I know how hard this is for you? I am actually grateful for the ever-exciting world of autism in which we reside; it keeps my 80 yo mom from insisting we move in with her. Every time she mentions the excellent private school, her huge house, the wonderful neighborhood, etc etc, I play the biggest card I have "I know Mom, it's great where you live. But all our AUTISM THERAPISTS are in Boulder." And that ends the round.
I am assuming the sell by date was 2004, as that gelfiltefish stench could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon on its best day...
How far do you have to drive to work?! I am going to fret about your well being, Mary Mary.

kris (lower case)

i have told my son (just 11 now) over and over.. when we get old we are NOT your responsibility.. do not feel you are in any way responsible for us because YOU ARE NOT. i just can not imagine asking him to take years of his life to 'take care' of us. i just do not want that at all. by that time i hope they allow people who want it to be put to sleep because i want that more than anything if i need to be 'taken care of'.. i truly don't know how people do it. i watch my m-i-l wait for her father to die so she can actually have a life again. and she will feel quilty forever when he finally does die. aren't i cheery! good luck to you and i am glad you seem to not mind it.

Cathy S.

Such love you express through service and willingness to uproot yourselves. I know your father in law appreciates it even if you did throw his fish away. I'm praying that God continues to give you strength and that you and Josh can carve out some times for yourselves as well.


Wow. Just wow.


Wow, that's a big step! Changes, changes!


Oh, Miz S. You make it very hard to find the words. I wish you all the good things you can find in that house in the city, and in every other place you live after.

On the bonus round points, not only are you a saint (do saints drink sake? or only wine?) but you got Jane to blog again. You da bomb.


I've been checking you and Jane periodically~so glad to find you both back. That picture of your FIL makes me feel sad...he must miss his wife so much. And he's so fortunate to have you and your hubs in his life. Such a sacrifice that speaks volumes.(LOVE the exterior of that home.)


I figured something big was happening. You and Josh are doing such a loving thing. Take time for each other too.

Kate F

That' a big move... and you know, it will probably turn out to be a good one for all of the reasons you mention. It's a new adventure. And it may really make things great when you retire.

I admire that you two are agile and flexible enough to even consider doing it... and I already knew that you are the kind of people who WOULD do it for Josh's father.

Looking forward to seeing you soon.


Hope your kids are taking notes - ha!

Really, just the thought of me moving in... You put me to shame.

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