So. I got myself a little situation at work that is making me feel really uncomfortable and resentful but HAS to be addressed.
There is a teacher at my school who has a reputation for being somewhat "sharp" with the students. She works with the kids who are above grade-level in math, and 3 of my students go to her math class every day. Yesterday, one of them came back from her room looking somewhat downcast and chastened. She told me that the teacher had gotten mad at her when she was taking the unit test and called her stupid. She also called a boy from another class stupid. I talked to the other boy's regular teacher (my Ellen xoxo) and he corroborated the story.
How motivating to be called stupid! Way to make them love math!
My first reaction was that I should take my student to the principal and have her repeat the tale. But, after thinking it over I have decided to *gasp* go talk to the math teacher myself.
I KNOW. I'M SHOCKED TOO.
The principal has heard these stories before and has even talked to the teacher in question about toning down her approach. I don't think anything will really come of it if I tattle-tale to the principal.
I briefly considered just ignoring the situation, but I can't do that. I'm responsible for these kids all year and I have to stand up for them if necessary. If I do nothing at all then as far as Estafania can tell it's okay for a teacher to call a kid stupid.
I have to be careful what I say to her, though. I can't go in all J'accuse! and expect things to go well.
Those of you who know me well know that I hate anything that smacks of confrontation and I will get all shaky and teary at the drop of a hat. If you have any advice as to how I should approach this PLEASE SHARE. AND HURRY!
I hope all went well. Since you are going in to stand up for your little ones, you will do well....
Posted by: cbrks12 | April 24, 2008 at 08:00 AM
Can you take it to the union? Can you discuss it with another teacher who would be more comfortable with confrontation?
Posted by: blackbird | April 24, 2008 at 09:14 AM
I would approach it with a puzzled, this can't be right way. My student and her friend in another class tell me that you called them stupid. I'm so perplexed by this. I need to understand what happened so that we can sort this out. Blink, blink those innocent eyes.
This works beautifully for a colleague of mine (no, not with me, I'm not calling the kids stupid!) when she has to have a confrontation with another teacher. I watched her do it with an angry teacher over a union issue yesterday . . . explain your position to this young, naive teacher because I don't see the need for drama here so clearly I'm missing something. It totally defused the anger of the older teacher and . . . well, it's a thought.
Honestly, I'd take it to the principal. I know your population is different from ours but I'd be expecting phone calls from parents over that one so I'd be taking it to the principal and giving her a heads up that this would happen -- the angry phone calls from parents, I mean.
Wow. It's early for me but you've probably already dealt with this at your end. Bye! Good luck! Tell all!
Posted by: Liza Lee Miller | April 24, 2008 at 09:22 AM
I agree with Liza Lee Miller, above.
(Did you consult Jane? I bet she told you to tell that teacher she's a fucker. Hee hee.)
Posted by: Paula | April 24, 2008 at 09:45 AM
I think Liza's blink, blink suggestion is right on. You have nothing to gain by marching in and accusing her, and everything to gain by asking her to clarify.
I think getting teary is admirable. You are willing to make yourself very uncomfortable for something you strongly believe in and I don't think you should have to feel badly about being teary.
Posted by: Dusty | April 24, 2008 at 10:50 AM
Wow, Liza, you are a wise woman. (And yeah, Paula's right about Jane!)
Posted by: Heidi | April 24, 2008 at 12:16 PM
UGH! I hate confrontation of that nature as well, but I think you are right that you have to say something even if it doesn't help because otherwise you will feel even worse. I think the approach noted above sounds good. It's more of the "help me to understand what is happening" instead of "you suck." Unfortunately, I think that a teacher who tells elementary school kids they are stupid is probably too idiotic to even understand why what he or she is doing is wrong, but it's worth a try. Take some deep breaths and be tough for your kids - you can do it!
Posted by: Maggie | April 24, 2008 at 02:23 PM
I think Liza is right.
I have to say, I don't think there is much worse you can call a child than stupid and if she keeps it up after you've spoken to her, I'd notify the parents of your student and the school board if necessary. I know people have bad days but really, there is no excuse of calling a kid stupid. Get her Mary.
Posted by: paula | April 24, 2008 at 03:19 PM
see! this is way you rock- you do things like this!!! Good for you and you are totally in the right.
Posted by: ceressa | April 24, 2008 at 04:30 PM
I would use the verifying the name calling with the other teacher approach too, with a slightly incredulous tone. Because, how can it be that a teacher of such young ones, your school is only up to 2nd grade, right? would call a student "stupid." Then she has to deny or admit that she said it. Either way, if she knows others have mentioned this before to the principal she knows you probably know too. If she blows you off you need to do something above and beyond what's been done before. It cannot keep happening. Your students are probably at a higher risk as it is given some of their personal challenges. I once heard a middle school teacher at my son's gifted school call another student a twit in our presence and , even though I agreed with him , on the inside, I thought it highly inappropriate that he would say this in front of parents. But, middle school is a far far cry from where you are.
Posted by: Pam L | April 24, 2008 at 04:40 PM
P.S. And the student he called a twit was not in the room at the time.
Posted by: Pam L | April 24, 2008 at 04:42 PM
Liza Lee's got it right.You should pretend to be puzzled about what people are saying--that CAN'T be true. Hope it went or will go well. Update soon!
Posted by: Margaret | April 24, 2008 at 06:48 PM
I agree with the consensus. If you don't want to act puzzled, then at least approach her with a soft demeaner and don't accuse. (Even though she really needs her ass kicked for what she said.) Don't worry, you'll handle it the correct way, you're a pro, Mary.
Posted by: Vanessa | April 24, 2008 at 07:47 PM
Wow. I tuned in to the comments because (of course) I had no CLUE how to handle a situation like this and wanted some pointers myself for any future sticky situation for which I might be able to pick up a tip or two and this is a brilliant idea! *blink blink* I can DO blink blink! And potentially without tears even! Woohoo!!! Please report back if you use it and how it goes! :) Or even if you don't use it but did something else.
You certainly do rock. There was a teacher in Keli's elementary school who called the kids stupid, as well. And how unbelievably horrifying this was to me. No child should be subjected to this. :(
Posted by: Keri | April 24, 2008 at 08:27 PM
I agree with Liza. Go with the attitude of giving her the benefit of a doubt. Like this is some nasty rumor that can't possibly have any truth behind it because you know what a great teacher she is and cares deeply for her children and would never do anything to squash their love of learning. Besides, she is too smart to ever say anything like that because of the nasty repercussions that could result. Then I would report it to your principal and let her know how your conversation with Viola Swamp went. She needs to be watched, next she will be yelling at the kids for telling others what goes on in her classroom.
Posted by: Gail | April 24, 2008 at 08:34 PM
I actually got my church BANNED from a Christian Mission group in West Virginia because I stood up for the kids in my group. (No, you cannot feed them hamburger that has sat on the counter since breakfast. I saw it there at 8am. I know.) I digress...Someone needs to call her on this. It is unconscionable. She may think that no one will know. Ari once called my son a f***ing schlemiel in class. I didn't know this until long after he had graduated...You have no choice. These kids are counting on YOU and it has been given to YOU to do.
Posted by: ML | April 24, 2008 at 08:49 PM
So glad to see your twitter note about the confrontation going so well.Can't wait to hear how it went down.
Posted by: Pam L | April 24, 2008 at 10:11 PM
Well, my first response was that you should pull a Mrs. Puff and explode, "Sponge Bob, WHY???" Ahem, but after reading Liza Lee, I'd say go with her approach. ;)
Posted by: Wende | April 24, 2008 at 10:35 PM
I say go with the Liza dialogue.
Then come look at my photos and bring your brother with you. :)
Posted by: Angie | April 24, 2008 at 10:57 PM
Do you remember this news story? http://www.aolvideoblog.com/2008/02/28/t/3
Posted by: hope | April 24, 2008 at 11:42 PM