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April 24, 2008

Comments

cbrks12

I hope all went well. Since you are going in to stand up for your little ones, you will do well....

blackbird

Can you take it to the union? Can you discuss it with another teacher who would be more comfortable with confrontation?

Liza Lee Miller

I would approach it with a puzzled, this can't be right way. My student and her friend in another class tell me that you called them stupid. I'm so perplexed by this. I need to understand what happened so that we can sort this out. Blink, blink those innocent eyes.

This works beautifully for a colleague of mine (no, not with me, I'm not calling the kids stupid!) when she has to have a confrontation with another teacher. I watched her do it with an angry teacher over a union issue yesterday . . . explain your position to this young, naive teacher because I don't see the need for drama here so clearly I'm missing something. It totally defused the anger of the older teacher and . . . well, it's a thought.

Honestly, I'd take it to the principal. I know your population is different from ours but I'd be expecting phone calls from parents over that one so I'd be taking it to the principal and giving her a heads up that this would happen -- the angry phone calls from parents, I mean.

Wow. It's early for me but you've probably already dealt with this at your end. Bye! Good luck! Tell all!

Paula

I agree with Liza Lee Miller, above.

(Did you consult Jane? I bet she told you to tell that teacher she's a fucker. Hee hee.)

Dusty

I think Liza's blink, blink suggestion is right on. You have nothing to gain by marching in and accusing her, and everything to gain by asking her to clarify.

I think getting teary is admirable. You are willing to make yourself very uncomfortable for something you strongly believe in and I don't think you should have to feel badly about being teary.

Heidi

Wow, Liza, you are a wise woman. (And yeah, Paula's right about Jane!)

Maggie

UGH! I hate confrontation of that nature as well, but I think you are right that you have to say something even if it doesn't help because otherwise you will feel even worse. I think the approach noted above sounds good. It's more of the "help me to understand what is happening" instead of "you suck." Unfortunately, I think that a teacher who tells elementary school kids they are stupid is probably too idiotic to even understand why what he or she is doing is wrong, but it's worth a try. Take some deep breaths and be tough for your kids - you can do it!

paula

I think Liza is right.

I have to say, I don't think there is much worse you can call a child than stupid and if she keeps it up after you've spoken to her, I'd notify the parents of your student and the school board if necessary. I know people have bad days but really, there is no excuse of calling a kid stupid. Get her Mary.

ceressa

see! this is way you rock- you do things like this!!! Good for you and you are totally in the right.

Pam L

I would use the verifying the name calling with the other teacher approach too, with a slightly incredulous tone. Because, how can it be that a teacher of such young ones, your school is only up to 2nd grade, right? would call a student "stupid." Then she has to deny or admit that she said it. Either way, if she knows others have mentioned this before to the principal she knows you probably know too. If she blows you off you need to do something above and beyond what's been done before. It cannot keep happening. Your students are probably at a higher risk as it is given some of their personal challenges. I once heard a middle school teacher at my son's gifted school call another student a twit in our presence and , even though I agreed with him , on the inside, I thought it highly inappropriate that he would say this in front of parents. But, middle school is a far far cry from where you are.

Pam L

P.S. And the student he called a twit was not in the room at the time.

Margaret

Liza Lee's got it right.You should pretend to be puzzled about what people are saying--that CAN'T be true. Hope it went or will go well. Update soon!

Vanessa

I agree with the consensus. If you don't want to act puzzled, then at least approach her with a soft demeaner and don't accuse. (Even though she really needs her ass kicked for what she said.) Don't worry, you'll handle it the correct way, you're a pro, Mary.

Keri

Wow. I tuned in to the comments because (of course) I had no CLUE how to handle a situation like this and wanted some pointers myself for any future sticky situation for which I might be able to pick up a tip or two and this is a brilliant idea! *blink blink* I can DO blink blink! And potentially without tears even! Woohoo!!! Please report back if you use it and how it goes! :) Or even if you don't use it but did something else.

You certainly do rock. There was a teacher in Keli's elementary school who called the kids stupid, as well. And how unbelievably horrifying this was to me. No child should be subjected to this. :(

Gail

I agree with Liza. Go with the attitude of giving her the benefit of a doubt. Like this is some nasty rumor that can't possibly have any truth behind it because you know what a great teacher she is and cares deeply for her children and would never do anything to squash their love of learning. Besides, she is too smart to ever say anything like that because of the nasty repercussions that could result. Then I would report it to your principal and let her know how your conversation with Viola Swamp went. She needs to be watched, next she will be yelling at the kids for telling others what goes on in her classroom.

ML

I actually got my church BANNED from a Christian Mission group in West Virginia because I stood up for the kids in my group. (No, you cannot feed them hamburger that has sat on the counter since breakfast. I saw it there at 8am. I know.) I digress...Someone needs to call her on this. It is unconscionable. She may think that no one will know. Ari once called my son a f***ing schlemiel in class. I didn't know this until long after he had graduated...You have no choice. These kids are counting on YOU and it has been given to YOU to do.

Pam L

So glad to see your twitter note about the confrontation going so well.Can't wait to hear how it went down.

Wende

Well, my first response was that you should pull a Mrs. Puff and explode, "Sponge Bob, WHY???" Ahem, but after reading Liza Lee, I'd say go with her approach. ;)

Angie

I say go with the Liza dialogue.

Then come look at my photos and bring your brother with you. :)

hope

Do you remember this news story? http://www.aolvideoblog.com/2008/02/28/t/3

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