It's a good thing that Josh came back from NYC last night. It forced me to do the dishes, make the bed, and unstop the toilet. It turns out that when he is not around I undergo some sort of metamorphosis from responsible middle-aged woman to sloppy college freshman.
So guess what? I had a crappy day at work on Wednesday. The funny thing was that I drove to work that morning feeling all relaxed and happy and thinking about how much I like my job lately.
But then there was an unpleasant lunchtime meeting in which it was revealed that the first grade team has been measured and found sorely lacking. You see, every other team in the building is just PORING over student data and discovering EXCITING things. But the first-grade teachers aren't. And 2 of our teammates aren't pulling their weight (well, that part's true). And we suck. What was said to me privately, twice, was that the first-grade team "lacks intellectual curiosity" about our reading data.
I just wish I had had the nerve to speak up during the meeting and say, "Look, my bitches, it's not that I lack intellectual curiosity. I'm just trying to get through the day without slapping Julio. GOD, that kid gets on my nerves."
Or, "All y'all motherfuckers can kiss my ass!"
This meeting was followed by a one-on-one conversation with the reading specialist** (who had been in charge of the meeting, and who had previously characterized our shortcomings as being a lack of intellectual curiosity, clearly I am STUNG by this since I have mentioned it 3 times already) in which she spoke in a mean and mocking tone to me because I had expressed my confusion during the aforementioned meeting. You'll never guess what I did. CRIED! You didn't see that coming, did you?
The good thing is, I didn't cry in front of her. I got red-eyed and shaky but I held it together, just barely, and then went back to my classroom and wept copiously. And emailed her to express my dismay at being talked to in such an unprofessional manner.
To her credit, she apologized profusely. And I officially forgave her so it's wrong of me to even bring it up. But, dude, I felt humiliated and stupid when she literally imitated me to my face, in that biting way that people can do when they have a gift for aping others.
So I went home and walked the dogs and went to bed insanely early because I was exhausted from the disagreeable interactions.
On Thursday, the reading specialist bought me an Apology Latte. I'm trying to figure out how to get another one out of her. Maybe I can look really hangdog today and tell her that I just keep replaying that tape in my head and oh God the agony.
Hey, if you're looking for me this weekend I will be PORING over student data with an UNQUENCHABLE THIRST for answers to questions, very intellectual questions.
**I suppose I should mention that the reading specialist is a friend of mine from way back and that she knows about the existence of this blog although I don't think she actually reads it. Hmmm. I feel strangely unconcerned about the possibility of being outed. In fact, I may email her today with more thoughts on the subject. Also, I'm sure that the meeting had its roots in a genuine problem that exists and that the first grade team is not blameless. (Jane will be rolling her eyes right about now because I always back-pedal away from conflict instead of standing my ground and reveling in my RIGHTNESS.)
Good Lord. At best, that reading specialist is extremely unprofessional and not very effective at her job; at worst, she's a bee-yotch. I hardly think mocking is the best way to motivate people. Go for the guilt latte!
Love the Simon & Garfunkel reference. I think the '70s were the last time I could say with confidence I know all the lyrics to a song.
Posted by: LisaL | February 08, 2008 at 07:25 AM
Oh, that sounds just terrible. I'm glad for the apologies and coffee, but still...
The worst is when you are doing your job (and it's trying enough) and are attacked out of the blue. It's so disheartening.
Posted by: maddy | February 08, 2008 at 07:39 AM
I'm getting in the car.
It will take me about 5 or 6 hours, depending on traffic.
I'll meet you at school.
You point her out.
AND I'M GOING TO KICK HER GODDAMN ASS.
Posted by: blackbird | February 08, 2008 at 07:46 AM
haha...blackbird RULES.
in other news, i'm glad you were at least able to hold out until you got to your classroom. i am SO thin-skinned - i would have been crying my eyes out at the first disapproving glance.
Posted by: Laura/DaPFG | February 08, 2008 at 08:23 AM
Oh yeah, talking down to people and mocking them is ALWAYS the way to make your point and get cooperation from someone, cuz people LOVE losing their last shred of dignity like that. And what the HELL does "Lacking Intellectual Curiosity" MEAN anyway? Did she even come up with some sort of useful suggestion as to how you could avoid that? Or is this all for show and you were not showing enough "flair" or something, not playing the game right by bringing some meaningless facts to the table to impress the other teams. Anyone can do that but I don't see how that would mean the kids were getting better educated because someone can spout some data at a meeting. See, this is why my husband and I left the corporate world and have been self employed for the last 15 years, too much bullshit. Gawd!, what crap.I would have cried to if I were talked to that way from a "professional." Ridiculous.
Posted by: Pam L | February 08, 2008 at 09:21 AM
I had a crappy day at work Wednesday, too, but I blamed it on the snow and the fact that you can't walk more than 5 steps around here without almost falling on your butt. Although it's been that way since the beginning of December so I don't know why it should be getting to me now! But I'm beginning to think it was just "Have an incredibly frustrating and draining day at work" day. There was a lot of that going on around here.
Posted by: Gretchen | February 08, 2008 at 09:28 AM
oh dear, oh dear. Conflict between friendly colleagues makes for a miserable day. I'm sorry you had to go through this and why am I reading "No Child, blah,blah,blah" between the lines? I mean, how much data can there possibly be about your first graders reading progress and how heady is it? I know- don't ask. I'm sure there's plenty to go around.
This reminds me of Rich, who spends a lot of time asking me if I have checked the weather and what, pray tell, are all the specifics? I used to respond with, "Stick your head out the door." Now I say something intellectual, like "High tide, at 2.6 feet, will be at 347 pm at the Snell Island Bridge."
Posted by: vicki | February 08, 2008 at 10:21 AM
P.S. We really were separated at birth. Rich has been gone a mere two days and this place is a pit...
Posted by: vicki | February 08, 2008 at 10:22 AM
Oh, Jane is not the only one rolling their eyes here.
She mocked you? Mocked you in front of others? Uh-uh. No, no. That's when you do that snapping thing. (3 snaps, suck lips, head goes side to side...we'll practice)
And dude, she won you back with a email apology and a latte? (I'm making that lip smacking sound again)
I'm mad now. How intelligent do you have to me to mock someone? Duh. (see, now I'm being nasty....grrr)
PS- Am I the only one who has a cleaner house when my husband is away?
Posted by: Kimberly | February 08, 2008 at 11:09 AM
A guilt latte does not make up for unprofessional behavior. Especially from a FRIEND. Period.
Posted by: Heidi | February 08, 2008 at 11:11 AM
How OLD is this paragon of intellectual curiosity anyway?
Posted by: Paula | February 08, 2008 at 11:40 AM
You have a great commenter posse here. Good to have a Kick Assing army should you ever need it. I hope you can squeeze some relaxation into your intellectually packed weekend! (I've been reading for a while but my first time commenting. Love it!)
Posted by: Lex | February 08, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Mocking others is tacky. Mocking others in front of them is mean to the core. THe only thing I'd have done differently was cc'd the principal on my initial response to her so that she got her butt busted and had to apologize in front of said principal. But, then again, I am a mean bitch. Shame on her.
Intellectual curiosity. Holy crap how did you control yourself from saying something give me something intellectual to be curious about and I'll show you intellectual curiousity. Give me a bunch of stupid numbers about my students and I'll sit down and glaze over and tell that what I really need to be doing is spending more time with my students . . . you know . . . teaching them. Rather than spending our valuable lunchtime being nagged and ridiculed. Argh!
Oh, and I'm totally with you. When my husband is out of town, we eat pizza 3x a day and don't clean up anything. When I am out of town, the house is perfect when I return -- it's most annoying.
Posted by: Liza Lee Miller | February 08, 2008 at 11:50 AM
In the words of Stephanie Tanner: How Rude!
It sucks that they had to lump everyone together instead of pointing out the real issues with whoever is lacking 'intellectual curiousity.' WTF is that anyway?
Posted by: The Cubicle's Backporch | February 08, 2008 at 12:56 PM
Personally, I'd do anything for a latte. A mocha latte, a mocka latte, any kinda latte. But, no matter how many lattes, I'd still be steamed.
Posted by: Buck Starr | February 08, 2008 at 01:12 PM
The only thing I am rolling my eyes at is the fact that a first grade teacher is supposed to show "intellectual curiousity" like she's a fucking TENURED professor at GEORGETOWN for chrissakes instead of woefully underpaid glorified BABYSITTER who gets treated worse than the fucking CUSTODIAN and is forced to spend time teaching to a fucking TEST.
And no one mocks my girl. I am sending internet curses.
Posted by: Jane | February 08, 2008 at 02:37 PM
All you badasses are making me feel warm and fuzzy.
Posted by: Miz S | February 08, 2008 at 02:43 PM
no really, I want to know the definition of "intellectual curiosity" in regards to the "reading data." are you supposed to be curious about the data itself? are you not asking questions about the data? should you need to? just curious. Was she, as the reading specialist, feeling like no one was paying attention to her data? Sounds like a personal problem to me.
maybe she who said that should take this test: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15289224466050307642
Posted by: Pam L | February 08, 2008 at 03:34 PM
Well, in my experience, all intellectual curiosity ever did was get me deeper into debt with school loans.
Have a lovely weekend.
Posted by: Wende | February 08, 2008 at 04:52 PM
I suggest you go to the next meeting wearing two black belts crisscrossing your chest, just visible under a long trench coat. See who criticizes you then.
Posted by: It's Omar! | February 08, 2008 at 05:45 PM
Who has time for intellectual curiousity? Aren't you supposed to be spending that time teaching them to READ?
I really do not like that woman latte or no latte.
Posted by: Laura | February 08, 2008 at 06:04 PM
I agree with Laura. As the saying goes, "When you're knee deep in alligators, it's impossible to remember that your goal was to clean the swamp!" I (our whole staff) had a horrible day on Wednesday; the staff meeting was full of atrocities about what we have to do, blah, blah. Most of us came away from it shaking or in tears--or both in my case. I EVEN SAID THE F WORD TO MY FRIEND! It drove me to that. The people who have the time and luxury of "intellectual curiosity" don't teach in the classroom. As for mimicking, that's so elementary school, as in popular among 7 year olds.
Posted by: Margaret | February 08, 2008 at 06:14 PM
Hey babe, you need to put on your Miz S-ness and let her have it. Or. I'll help blackbird kick her ass. Either way works for me.
And the sloppy college freshman thing while the hubby's away? As long as you brush your teeth and your hair once a day your good to go...
Posted by: paula | February 08, 2008 at 06:18 PM
you're. you're good to go. sheesh...
Posted by: paula | February 08, 2008 at 06:20 PM
Our Mary is most certainly intellectually curious!!
To hear someone say otherwise makes us furious.
Too many lattes will get one juiced.
And, getting outed is now called Dooced.
Revel in your RIGHTNESS please, Miz S.
Relax, breathe deeply, Namaste, God bless!
Posted by: bonnie | February 08, 2008 at 06:55 PM
Oh, I will KICK HER ASS. What kind of bullshit is that? UGH.
(And I think she owes you a week of lattes. No, a MONTH. UGH AGAIN.)
Posted by: Miz Robyn | February 08, 2008 at 07:42 PM
What a crock o' shite, Mary. At least you held your tears until you were alone. May I please join the ass-kicking posse?
Posted by: Vanessa | February 08, 2008 at 08:55 PM
No Intellectual curiosity ? What the H is that anyway? I watch reality tv shows so she may have meant me by accident. I am all for going over and kicking her lame latte giving behind. Does she not know the steps of groveling? It includes at the very least a latte and a chocolate chip biscuit at the very least. Add fresh squeezed juice if you are truly sorry. Also, officially forgiving her is fine for you but I do not forgive her for making you upset.
Blackbird .. lead the way .. we are off to an official can of you know what.
Posted by: the bee | February 08, 2008 at 11:47 PM
Why do I want to blame all of this on "No Child Left Behind"?
*Gasp* You mean the first grade teachers are busy teaching rather than pouring over data? Shocking. You should be publically flogged. But it sounds like you sort of already were.
Posted by: raehan | February 09, 2008 at 02:05 AM
(Smiling. You got a poem. Even though you swear, the sign of an ignorant mind, you got a poem. Smiling.)
Posted by: vicki | February 09, 2008 at 10:11 AM
I just typed a scathing reply to that douchebag 'reading specialist' and the post got lost somehow, which indicated to me that it was a waste of energy. As is your worrying about what that idiotic woman said to you. She's a loser, Mary.
Posted by: MsCellania | February 09, 2008 at 06:25 PM
Methinks the other people POURING over the data simply do not have enough to do in their days with actually, oh, I don't know, fuckin' teaching?!?
I say POUR the wine. I'm with Blackbird. Don't know where you are, but I'm on my way. (Um, can I get directions here dude?)
Posted by: Ree | February 09, 2008 at 09:35 PM
Well, also, it seems that if there was some improvement she needed the "first grade team" to make, she needed to go about it a different way, instead of mocking you all in a larger meeting. What do I know, but it seems like stupid way to go about things. Hmmph.
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