Fukre Stupit Pepe Pupuw

School today was just a string of disconnected and bizarre incidents.

I couldn't teach at my reading table because the HVAC man was in my classroom trying to fix my heater's fan motor, lying on the floor in awkward, contorted positions and swearing quietly under his breath. It was already about 80 degrees in the room, and every now and then he would test the equipment by turning it up nice and high and oh my GOD it was hot and miserable. Children were whining and collapsing in droves.

A colleague of mine visited me to model a teaching strategy. We sat on the floor because of the HVAC man and she ended up getting stuck, unable to stand up because her hip was trying to come out of its socket. I stood there wringing my hands and saying, "JESUS. Should I call someone? Should I call someone?"  Eventually she managed to stand up and continue on her appointed rounds. 

My little friend Stephanie wrote notes that said,  "I hayt Stephanie fukre stupit pepe pupuw. Love, Gisselle" and planted them around the classroom. She would then "find" these notes and bring them to me with a solemn, slightly aghast expression on her face. It seems that the purpose was to get Gisselle in trouble.  I have to admire her creativity.

A first-grader from a different classroom snuck into another teacher's room when it was empty and removed a hermit crab from its cage and sent the poor creature to hermit crab heaven by pulling off all its legs and stamping on it. (Last week he sent his family's pet bunny to heaven in an equally horrific manner. Why yes, I believe he is a future serial killer.)  And there's no need to tell me that this kid needs help. Everything that can be done is being done.

That's all, I guess. I don't know. It seemed like more when I was in the thick of it.

Ok, carry on.

Comments

[Xila]

Holy crap. That's all I got to say

[Kathryn]

Oh God, that sounds like too much for one day.

And my gosh, you're lucky that future serial killer isn't your charge. Eek.

[Pam L]

Geez, what a crappy day. I'm sure it WAS a lot, with the underlying theme being the heat and the swearing HVAC man not helping at all. Little Stephanie WAS creative, what the heck did Gisselle do to her? Oh I know, nothing, to us anyway. I remember being in terrible "fights" with the neighbor kids over nothing at all, it's like we made trouble up because we were bored or something. Was there wine at your house at the end of the day? There was at mine, and my day was not nearly as aggravaing as yours.

[Pam L]

Geez, what a crappy day. I'm sure it WAS a lot, with the underlying theme being the heat and the swearing HVAC man not helping at all. Little Stephanie WAS creative, what the heck did Gisselle do to her? Oh I know, nothing, to us anyway. I remember being in terrible "fights" with the neighbor kids over nothing at all, it's like we made trouble up because we were bored or something. Was there wine at your house at the end of the day? There was at mine, and my day was not nearly as aggravating as yours.

[Liza Lee Miller]

Oh. My. Heat. Hips. Humor. Horror.

Yup, a full day in first grade.

[Cazza]

So, today was the day from hell on both sides of the world. At least the bits of the world that are important. Yours and mine.

I did laugh, though, at your reaction to your colleague ("shall I call 911" sprang to mind) and the mischievous note writer. And then I felt sad for her and the budding serial killer.

Hope your weekend is better. (I know, you've still got Friday to go but it's Friday night here and therefore it's the weekend. So there.)

[blackbird]

Perhaps something was in retrograde.

[Jennifer]

Blah... sounds like you had a rough day. The note-writer made me laugh. Kids are so funny... especially when they're trying to get attention. The serial killer isn't so funny, wow!

[Susie Sunshine]

I'm buying the domain: fukrestupitpepepupuw.com. She might be an evil little bitch, but that is pure genius.

Wow. I can even see the T-shirt design!

[Laura/DaPFG]

never a dull moment with you!!

[maddy]

Wow, that's a day.

[Nancy]

The hermit crab incident ..wow..Kids scare me these days!
A few months ago there was a county fair (cant remember what state) and a man was there doing an educational reptile display for the kids. He had his beautiful lemon python out showing the crowd and answering questions..when a 7 or 8 yr old boy walked up stamped down hard on the pythons head and stated "I don't like snakes!"
The rotten kids Dad just grabbed his hand and said "See! that's why I don't take you anywhere!" and beat a hasty retreat.
The snake died the kids were traumatized..brat and Dad were never found or held accountable..:(

[Heidi]

Why yes, Blackbird, Mercury IS currently retrograde.

The good news is that you've made it it Friday.

[raehan]

At least Giselle's altar ego signed her letter with love.

Sounds like Stephanie is looking for attention, and is especially craving to be the victim. Smart girl.

The good news is that the kids are still in first grade. This kind of stuff gets a lot more grizzly when they're older.

[Karen T-H]

I usually love to commiserate with you, dearheart, but NOT today. Nosirree, not TODAY. TODAY? Today, she is a SNOW DAY!!!!! Better yet, that makes it a THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!!

And the dog, Hans, just loves to run in the snow, and eat the snow, and then . . . forgets to pee until he is back in the house.

You can't have everything.

[Molly]

Reading your post makes me especially happy that we had a snow day today.

[Wende]

I admire your skill at summation. Just enough information without falling into my favorite trap: Too many words. Bravo.

Hope today is better. Or, was, considering the time.

[Jenny James]

I'm struck by your rotten budding killer. Years ago when I volunteered in my son's kindergarten there was a little boy who COULD NOT fit in. Periodically he would act out in some way, disrupting the entire class and requiring an additional adult to handle him separately. And he was sad.
He's 21 now. I hope.
That was ONE boy in ONE class. Assuming here that it's ONE kid per ONE school, that's a crowd of people who cannot take their part in the population.
What do they do and what can we do?

[Vanessa]

That's more than plenty to deal with in one day. How do you do it?

[LisaL]

EIGHTY degrees? Oh, my God, I would have collapsed along with the students. I hope today was much better for you!

[the bee]

Wow !!! The heat alone would have made me cranky as all get out.
I guess it was a bad day to correct little Stephanie's spelling ?
Honey, if you are going to write manifestos you are going to have to learn to spell, otherwise how will your family members recognize your writing style and turn you in ?
My hat is off to you and all teachers.I do not know how you do it .

[Margaret]

Horrifying indeed, and a string of bizarre happenings. A series of unfortunate events, as the book says.

[Gail]

Like Liza said, Hips, Heat, Humor, Horror. Were you working on the letter 'H'? What was 'G' like? Ghastly, Grisly, Gory? Egads!!!

[Angie]

By high school she will have learned to change her handwriting and will have evolved into a much more sneaky and conniving type of girl with a vocabulary to make a sailor proud. Guess her parents are real "upright citizens" setting her example. How sad.

[MsCellania]

The biggest horror is the animal cruelty future psychopath. In my book, that's the biggest sign of a sure-fire social deviant. I caught a 4 yo kid kicking our dog during a playdate - a 'no reason, I just felt like kicking the snot out of your dog' kind of kicking. I went ballastic and informed his mother she had a Real Problem on her hands. And to not come back, ever. I found out recently the child was removed from the home due to doing nasty and terrible things to his younger siblings. Evil lives on the planet. And I swear they come out of the chute that way. I hope that boy in your school is getting LOTS of help.
Thank God you have the weekend to recuperate. And I hope that HVAC situation is fixed.

[Celestial]

Your bad day made my day. Oh the poor crab...