Miz S

Basking in the Done-ness.

I took this picture of Sasha and Evangeline in my backyard yesterday as the graduation party was winding down. It's a little unfocused, but I like the way they are laughing and goofing around.

I'm fond of these girls.

What I am not fond of is the stress of getting ready for big parties at my house. I don't get mean or nasty, but I definitely take on a busy, tense air and occasionally emit a low moaning noise.

If there is such as thing as the complete opposite of Martha Stewart, the anti-Martha so to speak, it would probably be me. I just don't GET how to do all that hostess-y stuff.

Something as simple as picking out the paper goods for the party made me flap my hands unhappily. I stopped at the party store on Saturday, figuring that I would just pop in, pick up the paper plates and napkins, and be on my merry way. Do you have any idea how many different kinds/colors of paper plates you can buy at the party store? My eyes glazed over and I wandered around miserably, trying to remember what color the tablecloth was, or even if I had a damn tablecloth. After I had wasted 15 precious minutes on this enterprise, I threw up my hands in despair and left the store.

Some of you guys actually like doing that stuff, don't you?

Despite my general inefficiency and lack of planning skills, not to mention lack of kitchen counter space and matching china, people seemed to have a good time. There was food and there was beer and wine and there was a HUGE cake. The cake did not get finished and now it resides in a large box in my living room. Every now and then I just walk over and dig out some icing with a spoon. Now that's good eatin'.

Anyway, I'm glad we had the party but I'm also really glad that it's over and I can just bask in the done-ness.

This week is going to be busy.

Tuesday: Field Day OH THE HORROR.

Wednesday: Parent Forum Night WHY DID I SAY I WOULD DO IT?

Thursday: can't think of anything

Friday: Sex and the City opening and I AM MEETING SOME BLOGGERS. I hope they won't be total weirdos like, for example, Susie Sunshine.

Lazy Trumps Tipsy.

Sasha came home for Grandma's birthday. All the animals were ecstatic because Sasha is their girl, but I only caught this one picture of Rosie kissing her.

Thank you all for defending me so fiercely in my comments. You made me laugh a lot and feel like a princess. Hoo-boy! The reading specialist better watch herself. Apparently there's a big can of whup-ass with her name on it, and little blackbird (among others) is just itching to open it up. You guys are sweet.

So, I believe I mentioned the other day that I am having a milestone birthday soon. (I will be 600 months old. I will be 40-10. I will celebrate the 10th anniversary of my 40th birthday. Ha! So many euphemisms! So funny! Not.) Josh is having a lot of anxiety about it because he doesn't want to be accused of being a slacker-husband by his friends. He keeps asking me what I want and what we should do to mark the occasion. He knows better than to pull one of those surprise party moves on me. I don't "surprise" well.

I've been hemming and hawing and saying, "I don't know, a party is an awful lot of work. Let's just go out for dinner with friends. And I'll buy myself some new clothes."

So we were drinking a little sake the night he got back from NYC and I was NOT DRUNK but I was definitely silly and tipsy. Josh said, "You know, it wouldn't be a big deal, we could do a party here. Let's just make some phone calls and make it happen." 

And I said, "Wooo! Yes! A party! I love parties!" Then I twittered about it.

But after attending my mother-in-law's 80th birthday last night, hosted by my incomparable sister-in-law and her husband, I'm thinking that it looks like way, way too much work. The interior of our house needs painting desperately, the front yard has the winter blahs, and the bathrooms are about to be remodeled any day now and no doubt would be all torn up just in time for the party. I realize that we could have a party without painting the house first, but, I don't know. We would definitely have to do some major cleaning.

So. Meh. I don't feel like it.

As for what I want for my birthday? I'm a little embarrassed to tell you guys this because I worry that it's shallow and vain, but I would really like to get my teeth professionally whitened. I figure I've got another 30 years, easy, of red wine and coffee ahead of me.

Have any of you ever had it done? Got any info that I need? Does it really work? I want me some WHITE-ASS teeth.

I Miss You, Baby. Really, I Do.

Josh is out of town for 3 days and 3 nights. It's rough, but I'm hanging in there as best I can. Eating soup for dinner. Leaving the dishes until the morning. Watching whatever I want on TV. Sleeping with all the cats and dogs on the bed with me. It's brutal.

Meanwhile, he's in New York City with his boss/best friend eating at the finest restaurants in town so I'm sure he's suffering too.

Hey, guess what? Tomorrow's Ash Wednesday and I'm going to go to Mass and get me some of them ashes smeared on my face.  If I'm lucky there will be incense and organ music.  POMP. I  want PAPIST POMP, people.

Yup, I'm still dabbling with my Catholic roots. Do not tell my mother because it would make her so happy and I refuse to give her that kind of satisfaction because I am immature as all get-out.

I wonder what Sasha and Evangeline will refuse to tell me because it will give me too much satisfaction. These mother-daughter rituals are heart-warming, aren't they?

Speaking of Evangeline, it looks like we will not be going to Russia to visit her. Our plan was to go over there during my spring break in March, but she emailed us and said that she thinks she will be too involved in her classes to be able to spend a lot of time with us, plus she will be on a trip to St Petersburg during the latter part of that week. It kind of sounds like she's blowing us off, doesn't it? But she swears she isn't.

To be perfectly honest this is not a crushing blow for a variety of reasons such as expense, weather, and language barrier. We're thinking of having us a little sunshine-y vacation in the good old USA instead, for a hell of a lot less money. Evangeline is very independent and likes to immerse herself totally in whatever it is that she is pursuing. If she is comfortable being that far from home for 4 months, I say RAWK ON, HONEY. Except she would disapprove of the blatant use of age-inappropriate slang.

Okay. I'm going to go dirty a few more dishes and leave them strewn about the kitchen, then it's off to bed to sleep in a diagonal position with furry creatures fore and aft.

Where Is My Clever?

They made me play Scrabble with them. Josh kicked both our asses.

Evangeline is much better now, thank you very much. Josh got quite sick too and stayed home from work for 3 days in a row which is unheard of around here. I remain relentlessly healthy.

Getting Evangeline packed up for Russia began in earnest yesterday. We are using Sasha's room as the staging area. There have been several trips to Target and other stores for things like snow boots and long underwear and blue jeans. She can only bring two suitcases, and they fill up remarkably fast when you are packing a lot of bulky stuff like sweaters and scarves. Not to mention insulin, test strips, and syringes.

We divided all the diabetes supplies in half and put a set in each suitcase. This is because I am worried about that stuff getting lost or stolen along the way. Evangeline thinks I am being a little silly but she humors me because she is nice that way.

We have been having fun imagining her using her intermediate Russian skills to explain her diabetes to her host mother, Nina Alexsandrovna.

"Please not to be alarmed. When consuming of the carbohydrates, it is necessary that I needle myself with the insulin."

On Tuesday, we will take Evangeline to a hotel in DC to meet up with her cohort and get a day or two of orientation before boarding a flight to Moscow. We will not see her after Tuesday. She is, as usual, remarkably calm and steady.

*   *   *

I did something yesterday that I have never done before. I took my Holly Bible friend and his brother to the movies. It felt both special and strange. I have never before spent time with my students or former students in a non-school-sponsored setting. It was just me and them. I drove with ridiculous care because I didn't want to have an accident and get sued and lose my job.

One of the things that I had agonized about ahead of time was whether or not to invite all the siblings. There are 6 kids altogether, and 5 of them are old enough to go to the movies. But little Ronald is only 3 and is a handful, plus he only knows Spanish and I worried a little bit about having to spend too much time wrangling him. So I told Tony and Oscar that this was just a special date for them because they were both my former students, but next time we would do something that the little ones could do too.

When I arrived at their apartment they were both waiting outside for me. I never get to see Oscar (the older one) anymore, so I hugged him and I said, "You're not too old for me to hug you, right?"

And he said, "No, I'm only 9. You can hug me when I'm 10, too, but I don't know about 11."

God, I love that kid.

I took them to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. Good God that is one stuuuuuupid movie. They seemed to enjoy it though.

I heard lots from them about their stepfather (an asshole), their real father (another asshole), and their half-sister's father (yup, an asshole). Their life revolves around their mother's abysmal taste in men. And you know, it's easy for me to judge her for making poor choices and subjecting her children to this but the reality is more complicated than that.

Anyway, it was fun to spend time with Tony and Oscar and I hope to do it again soon.

*   *   *

Oh dear. This post seems boring to me. I'm just not feeling all that clever right now.

Let's try bullets, shall we?

Pushkin is bored. Photo credit: Sasha.

I tried to write an update last night but all my leads went nowhere, NOWHERE I tells ya. I bored myself silly. So this morning I am resorting to bullets and maybe a couple of pictures. It may still be boring but at least it's short.

• Sasha headed back to college yesterday with NO birthday present from her parents. We tramped the mall on Saturday seeking the perfect pair of knee-high, flat-heel boots but they were not to be found. She is going to look on-line and let me know if she finds them.
• Both boyfriends were here for most of the weekend, and part of Sasha's birthday celebration included inviting Josh's parents over for a rousing game of Fictionary. I cannot help but love that my 20-something daughters wanted to spend a Saturday night playing parlor games with their aged relatives.
• Josh and I spent a lot of time looking at Russia stuff online. Evangeline leaves on January 24, and we will visit her in March.
• Evangeline and Nathanial dressed up like spies and went to the Spy Museum yesterday.
• I started doing that Daily Plate thing where you track your food and exercise online. All I can say is Good GOD I eat a lot of crap! I should stop complaining about the 10 extra pounds I am carrying and fall on my knees and give thanks that it is not 50 extra pounds. Oh, and maybe stop eating so much crap.
• My house feels small and falling-apart right now. A bunch of tiles in the basement bathroom just fell off the wall yesterday, and the wall was wet behind the tiles and we don't know why. I kind of wish we were moving.
• That's all I got for you. But here are some random photos that I am too lazy to center.

Ha! April managed to fit herself into Clyde's old bed.

Aw. Look at Rosie.

Nathanial and Evangeline.

Last sister picture for 4 months.

America's Next Top Crybaby.

The good thing about having a busy job is that one minute it's Monday morning and you are gloomily calculating the odds of surviving until Friday, and the next minute it is Wednesday morning and you are perking up and thinking that you maybe, just maybe, will live to enjoy another weekend.

Last night we went to a reunion of sorts. We used to be very involved with a Christian-Jewish interfaith families organization. It was part of our bumbling attempt to ground our daughters in their religious backgrounds without actually, y'know, setting foot in a church or a synagogue GOD FORBID. It worked in the sense that both of them are religiously screwed up just like their parents. Ha! I kid! A little.

Anyway, it was fun to see old friends and chat. To my great disappointment my favorite one was not there. IAN IF YOU LURK HERE I STILL LOVE YOU. You know, my husband reads this blog and ordinarily it might be awkward to profess my love for another man but Josh loves him too so I think it's okay. I really wanted either Sasha or Evangeline to marry Ian's son, Izak, so that I could be sort of related to Ian, but so far that hasn't worked out.

Anyways.

Before we left our house to go to the event, we had family drama.

Let's see. How can I blog about this while protecting the privacy of the individuals who were involved? I know! I won't use real names!

Okay. You see, one person felt resentful about something. Another person felt annoyed and exasperated about the first person's sense of resentment. A third person was wise and sympathetic and did a lot of "reflective listening," while the annoyed person just sighed heavily and looked pissed. A fourth person wandered around upstairs singing songs from musicals.

Time passed. Eventually, we could not postpone the inevitable, which was a car ride to the event. A bitter, silent car ride.  But suddenly not so silent, because now the resentful person was hostile, and the exasperated person decided that she had been wronged and was Hurt. Weepily hurt. The insightful, rational person tried to broker a peace deal.

We drove around and around the block. Formerly Annoyed But Now Hurt Person dabbed at her eyes with a tissue and sniffled. Rational person went back and forth between the two warring parties and finally worked out the details of the ceasefire.

We parked and went to our event. The champagne and chocolate did much to lessen the sense of aggrievement that someone still secretly harbored.

By the time we got back home all had been smoothed over (or swept under the rug, at least) and genuine apologies were exchanged. Family unity was restored, and everyone sat down to watch America's Next Top Model.

Except me because it was way past my bedtime which is 9:00 these days GOD I'M FUN.

There you go! And update AND a family fight! What more could you want?

Christ!

Why doesn't anyone update or EVEN EMAIL ME on Christmas Day? Why are you forcing me to interact with my family non-stop for hours at a time? You're killing me here.

I kid, of course. Family interactions have been 99.99% positive and loverly. Except for about 5 minutes when I was fussy with Josh because I thought he was being too bossy. The real problem was that I was hungry. It's important to feed me every 2 hours. WHICH HE SHOULD KNOW BY NOW.

The 24th was kind of a long day. At the last minute I decided that I needed a few more things under the tree, so I went out shopping.

Note to self: try to avoid doing that next year.  It wasn't a nightmare, but it wasn't a cake-walk either.

Whilst I fought my way up the Rockville Pike to score another present or two for my girls, Josh sped down to National Airport to pick up Evangeline, who had finally been released from the icy bowels of Iowa.  Everyone converged back home at about the same time, grabbed a bite to eat, and then Sasha and Evangeline headed out again for more shopping. I napped so as to be bright-eyed for the evening festivities, which I knew would include a lot of drinking and a long drive up I-95 with my parents but in reverse order.

The drive up 95 was to spend Christmas Eve at my sister Julie's house in Baltimore. Here is a picture of Josh and the girls hamming it up at the party.   

It was fun, as always, but despite my nap I was tired on the way back home, so tired that I had to pinch myself while I drove and listened to my mother tell me anecdotes about events that occurred anywhere from thirty to seventy years in the past and that I have heard 10,000 times over. When I finally got home I realized that I still had some stuff to wrap. However, one of the great things about having grown-up kids is that they sleep late even on Christmas morning. So I simply tumbled into bed, slept like a rock, and got all that shit done in the morning.

Present opening was lovely and laid-back and everyone was happy with what Santa Claus brought. Present opening was followed by hours of sitting around reading, napping, and cat/dog cuddling.

Then my parents came over for dinner so that my mom could tell me the anecdotes that she forgot to tell me last night.  Bless her dotty heart.

Watching Love Actually now. God, I love this movie. I'll be happily weeping in a bit.

I hope your Christmas was merry. Mine was.  This last picture shows Sasha contemplating the awesomeness of her mommy for buying her an adorable little Coach wristlet bag, while Evangeline delights in her new Tom Waits cd.

Midnight

Sunrise on the way to work the other morning.

I would normally be getting my beauty rest at this hour but I came home from work today with a sore throat and a headache, so I lay down for a delicious two hour nap. I am now paying the price. I did try to go to bed at 10:30 and lie there squinching my eyes shut but that never really works, does it? I tried to get conversational with Josh in bed but he suggested that I should rest my voice. I have relocated to the living room couch for a little quality time with the cats and my laptop to see if I can get sleepy.

Our Christmas tree is up and decorated, but it looks a little odd. Sasha had to remove all the ornaments from the bottom third of the tree because Nash keeps batting them off and then playing soccer with them.  He's a cute bad kitty.

I am feeling rather friendly and holiday-ish, despite the pending viral infection. I wrapped a few presents tonight and wrote out a bunch of Christmas cards for friends at work. I hate the whole gift exchange concept at work. I never know who I should get stuff for and it's all very awkward. So I usually just don't get anything for anyone. I am hoping that heartfelt holiday messages will be enough.

Maybe tomorrow I will have time to clean up here at the house. One of my complaints about Christmas is the disruption of routine and order. As I survey my living room, I feel a little hemmed in by the flotsam and jetsam. There are boxes of Christmas ornaments that haven't been put away yet, stacks of extra strings of lights that were purchased but are just sitting on the counter, rolls of wrapping paper, extra extension cords, tape, yardsticks, giftboxes, etc. Everything is all discombobulated.

So, yeah, tomorrow is the cleaning up day.

I'm not doing all that baking and crafty stuff that some of you seem to enjoy. I mean, it looks fun and all, and I used to do stuff like that when my kids were little and I didn't have a stupid full-time job, but now it's all I can manage to make dinner and do a load of laundry. So, no loaves of cranberry bread for the neighbors. No little felt animals or strings of popcorn or gingerbread cookies.

Tomorrow at work I will finish up my reading assessments. I will have lunch with the small brother and some other boys from my class last year. I will go see Amanda after work to bring her a present. I will clean up my living room. On Friday I might make gingerbread houses with my class. I said I might. Only if they do not get on my nerves tomorrow. And the chance that they will not get on my delicate nerves tomorrow is slim to non-existent, based on the way that they behaved yesterday and today. They are just a tad over-excited about Christmas.

Me? I'm surprisingly calm, cool, and collected.

Some Pictures From Last Weekend.

We left for the airport early in the morning. Sasha managed to look presentable.

We saw Jesus at the airport. In fact, he was on our flight.

We stayed in a gently decaying bed-and-breakfast. Our hostess seemed a little cranky. But she made some damn good Irish Soda Bread.

Our room was maniacally floral.

Josh clowned for our amusement.

We waited for Evangeline.

She approacheth! She weareth her Javert coat from Goodwill!

The awkward sister hug.

We went to this coffee shop.

I was obsessed with the large, chubby squirrels all over town. East coast squirrels are quite anemic-looking by comparison.

We hung out in the dorm for a little while.

Gargoyles wearing ties! What will those crazy college kids think of next? Beer pong?

We spent a long time in the graveyard on Sunday. It was fun.

Sasha can still do the monkey bar rings. Well, the first 3 rings.

Josh is a little competitive. He wanted to prove that he is stronger than Sasha.

Then it was time to go home.

Okay, that's all I have right now. You can't imagine how long it took me to put that measly assortment of pictures together and center them properly. I am shockingly inefficient. And I just realized that I didn't put in one single picture from the play itself, but there's no way in hell I'm going to rustle one up right now. 

Here.  I'll leave you with Evangeline's bio from the play program:  Evangeline is a third-year Russian major hailing from the great Maryland outback. She has had a fabulous experience as the show's assistant director, taking copious production notes in a heart-shaped notebook and always maintaining draconian order during rehearsal.  She would like to thank the cast and the production team for being really, really, really silly.

 

Into The Woods.

We left for Evangeline's secret location in the Midwest on Friday morning at the CRACK of dawn.

As usual, the whole "packing" concept eluded me. I forgot my sweater and my deodorant and my shampoo, while Josh's suitcase was neatly organized by color and function, with little Nalgene bottles for shampoo and conditioner and travel-sized Q-tip swabs and 2 jackets (one for cool, breezy weather, a different one in case of rain). I swear, he is such a woman. I envy his packing genius.

We flew hither and yon. Here's something strange, considering my proclivity for anxiety: I realized recently that I love flying.  I adore the moving sidewalks at airports (I can cover some GROUND), and I love hanging out in the gate area, reading magazines and people-watching. I love the feeling of taking-off into blue skies. And, whenever I fly I am going to see someone I love or I am with someone I love, so the associations are all very pleasant. I'm not a big fan of turbulence, or that sudden jolt when the landing gear deploys, but for the most part I am not a nervous air traveler at all. Somehow, that is a pleasant realization.

The weekend was really fun. Sasha was conversational and humorous, Evangeline was relaxed and happy. I was only a little bit mean to Josh on Saturday night, and believe me, you would have been, too. On Friday night we saw the musical production that Evangeline helped direct, Into the Woods, which was clever and funny. On Saturday we went to the bookstore and the coffeeshop and Goodwill and a restaurant. And I napped. Saturday night we were given permission by Evangeline to skip the musical (I'm all about hovering, but it's a long-ass performance and my own personal ass was tired of sitting from the night before). Josh tricked me into going to see Transformers with Sasha and him at the student union. Hence, the meanness.

Sunday was all about walking around a lake and wandering through a graveyard looking for cool names and feeling solemn about the little headstones that just said "infant."

Yesirree Bob, we know how to have fun!

We spent a lot of time with Nathaniel, boyfriend to Evangeline and all around good guy. My girls have a keen instinct for nice boys, which I like to think that they inherited from me.

We got home really late on Sunday night, and I slogged my way through the pure hell that was Monday. Josh had Monday off, the lucky dog.

I have tons of pictures for you, but I think I will wait and put those up tonight or tomorrow, seeing as how it is time to go to work and sap the natural creativity of my young charges.