Untitled.

I have been avoiding the Internet and all things blog-y for a little while.

Everything has changed around here, and I don't know how long it will be before we feel like ourselves again. My funny, fiesty mother-in-law died on September 7 after a brief and devastating illness.

4 weeks before her death we were still at the beach.  She did everything she always does: played charades, fictionary, and Trivial Pursuit, sat on the beach reading, fussed over Edgar Allen Poo (her dog), and even got into the water for a swim.

She had disturbing symptoms toward the end of our vacation and was admitted to the ICU shortly after our return. After a week in the hospital, she was sent home to hospice care.

We were with her when she died at home. She was not in pain. In fact, it was an amazing and peaceful death.

I would like to tell you more about it, but I can't right now.

Several times a day I think of something I want to tell her, and for a brief flash I forget that she is dead. I experience a small surge of pleasure as I plan our phone conversation. And then reality intrudes and I feel deflated and confused.

My 91 year old father in law is beyond devastated.  A widower now after 57 years of marriage, and he says in a bewildered tone, "I just thought I would have more time with her."

Comments

[Margaret]

This so totally unreal--how quickly this happened. I find myself happy that her death was so peaceful yet sad that there wasn't more time to prepare. Sending you much love, Mary. Give Josh a big hug from me.

[blackbird]

Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss...for Josh's loss, for his father's grief.
You are all in my prayers.

[Kathy]

So sorry for your loss, my dear. Thoughts are with you.

[Miz Robyn]

I'm just so sorry.

[Susie Sunshine]

I can tell what a wonderful woman she was by how fabulous her son turned out.
I'm so sorry, Mary.

[Lori]

I'm so sorry. What a tribute to her, though, that her husband had 57 years of marriage with her, and only wanted more time.

[Leah]

I'm so sorry. I remember it happening similarly quickly with my grandma, it hit my mom so incredibly hard. There's something about the speed of it that just makes it even more ununderstandable. Sending you all love...

[Susan Harris]

Wonderful pictures, Mary.

This is such a sad time for so many, and Sunday will be hard - HARD - but I'm hoping also healing?

Somebody's better be giving out kleenex. Susan

[Heidi]

This is really lovely, Mary.

Last fall, my Mom was gone in five days. Utterly and completely stunning for us, but, I think, ultimately wonderful for her.

Wishing everyone well, especially Josh's Dad.

[Cathy S.]

I am so sorry. Praying for you all, especially Josh's dad.

[Fay]

Oh Mary, I'm so sorry.

[Karenth]

No words I know seem adequate, but it won't stop me from sending a brief message.

Cyber-hugs to all, especially you and Josh. The road ahead is arduous, but bearable because you have each other -- all of you.

Eight years later, I still turn to pick up the phone to call my MIL with something that will please her. I prepare a segue to something that will send my FIL into goofy laughter. Eight years later, it hurts a lot less; a warm tug at the heart that reminds me that they were here.

[Lorraine]

This made me gasp out loud. I don't know if much comfort is gleaned from condolences from a stranger, but please know that you and Josh have mine. I love that you think of her and how you'd share your day with her. What a loving relationship you had. I'm sorry that it's gone now.

[MsCellania]

Sad. You will go to call her for a long time. Visiting Josh's dad is going to be really weird without her there. I still can barely go to my parents' house as I keep waiting for Daddy to come down the hall, or to look up from the breakfast table with a "Hello, Kid!"
The sweetest thing I heard today is "I just thought I'd have more time with her."
Last half of 2011 seriously stinks for you guys.

[maddy]

Things can happen so quickly. So sorry for your loss.

[Beth]

I am just so sorry.

[Anne]

I've read all the comments left here for you, Josh and your family. I can see that, just outside the impenetrable bubble of grief in which you are all prisoners just now, there is a tight circle of kindly hearts, beating warmly with love for you and yearning to hold you close. I'm there, too.

I'm so profoundly sad to learn this news of your devastating loss.

[Sophie]

My deepest condolences for your loss.

[Beth Ann]

So sorry to read about your loss. Take care.

[Tessie]

So very sorry. What great pictures.

[FC]

So sorry.
I'm so glad you all had that vacation together.

[margaret]

PRAYING

Asking God to give you an extra measure of His comfort

[Pam L]

My heart breaks for you, your FIL and family. It's hard enough when you have some time to adjust to the idea, which doesn't fully happen, but takes the edge off when the time comes. Love the pictures.

[Maggie]

I am so so sorry. Thinking about you and your family!

[Maureen]

I am so sorry for your family's loss. The comment of your father in law says everything though, just how much she was loved.

[Readersguide]

So sorry for your loss -- she does sound, as you say, funny and feisty. So sorry --

[Barb]

I am so glad you were able to enjoy one last vacation together. My sympathies to all. I'm so sorry.

[Laura]

Dear Josh and Mary,
I am so sorry. But I am so happy all of you had the summer vacation together.
Much love to you and your family.

[Emily]

I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[Vicki]

Ah, Mary. Those photos speak volumes and I'm so sorry for you all.

[the bee]

There really are no words or titles when something this sudden happens. I love it that she really lives on in the wonderful sense of humor that you share, love of nature, love of pets. I think her husband said it best when he wanted more time with her. So glad you had the beach memories and can now be there for each other. Love and hugs to all of you. My eyes are too misty to type anymore . Love- the bee

[liz]

I'm so sorry, Mary. She sounds like what my grandmother would call "a hot ticket" and someone you'll tell stories about to future generations. In that way, at least, you can keep her with you. Thinking of you and your whole family.

[Belle]

Mary, I know her love for you and Josh and the love you had for her will live on. My sincere condolences to all of you.

[kris (lower case)]

no matter how much time there is never enough for some.... that says so much good about them..

[Dawn]

I'm sorry.

[laura]

I'm so sorry. I know that feeling of wanting to pick up the phone, of having something to share, and you can't. That's all I really know to say.

[Linda/RV Vagabonds]

What a fabulous tribute to your mother-in-law by your father-in-law: "I just thought I would have more time with her."

So very sorry for your loss. You will want to call her for a very long time--I know.

[Mandy]

Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry. My condolences to your family.

[Dani]

I'm so sorry Mary.

[bonnie]

Condolences to you and Josh, Mary. The photos tell a sweet story, indeed.

Please email me your addy. I've been saving a book of Pushkin tales for you.

[Kiki]

Am so sorry for your loss. May your fond memories sustain you.

[Sue]

So sorry, Mary! My mother has been gone for 18 years and I still, sometimes, go to reach for the phone "cause I gotta tell my Mom something" only to remember she can't answer the phone anymore. Hold onto all the good memories, they will get you through the tough times. My sympathy to your family.