« Es la verdad. | Main | We are our own reality show. »

June 21, 2011

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83500f91e53ef014e89480e06970d

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Got Jokes?:

Comments

Karenth

Ummmm,

What lovely daughters you have?

Not a joke, but it SURE IS A FACT!!!!

Heidi

I'll give it a go...

Confidence is the feeling you have before you really understand the problem.

Deja moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

blackbird

This is the only joke I know right now:

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.

I heard it on the Ricky Gervais special on HBO.
Blame him.

Oh, Sasha is right.

Gretchen

It's not a joke and you'll probably have to copy and paste the URL, but this is pretty funny if you haven't seen it already. http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

FC

Two atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "Hey, I think I lost my electrons!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first atoms says, "I'm Positive!"

That's all I got.

Other than sympathy on both the pup and parent fronts.

You know, cuz you read PF, that I went through a similar decision process last year with Flounder.
I waited too long, out of my own weakness for his company.
Keep her comfortable and love her up, you will know when it is time.

Shit. I gotta stop now.

Leah

My in laws older dog (you know, the nice one who doesn't crush babies with its giant tail?) has cancer too and they're probably doing the same thing you are. Fucking hell, dude.

Oh a joke! Here's one courtesy of the 4 year old:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Baby
Baby who?
Baby! Do you want a banana?

Here's the current favorite of the 2 year old:
Knock knock
Who's there?
(unintelligible) who doggie woof
*murmur* who doggie woof who?
DOGGIE WOOF HEY GET OUT OF THERE! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Dawn

Glow in the dark girls are HOT. Besides, they don't need nightlights! Because they are one!

(Also, Sasha is wise. I can't imagine having to make that sort of choice for my pets, but there's a lot to be said for that approach.)

Swistle

That really is a comforting thought, to think of the two dogs going together. It's one of the hardest parts, for me, of having a pet put down---thinking of the other pets not knowing where the Gone pet is.

Margaret

You have great LOVE in your heart.

liz michalski

Would leave a comforting comment if allowed. Instead, a joke:

There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."

Margaret

Beautiful daughters and pale is healthy. Tan is dangerous, as I said on FB. I think S. is right; it will be agonizing, but the best choice. As you know, my husband has cancer, but I don't find your sadness about the dogs at all trivial. Not one bit. A sick loved one can be human or animal--love is love.

MsCellania

Dentist joke:
Guys goes into the dentist with a horrid, terrible toothache. Dentist diagnoses Tooth Needs Deep Work. Dude refuses gas, shots, oral pain meds or topical deadening. Dentist asks if he will take a pill that is NOT pain meds. Duds says "Okay, what?" Dentist says "Here, take this. It's Viagra." Dude says "VIAGRA? WTH?" Dentist said "It will give you something to hang on to when I start drilling!"

MsCellania

And I still hate, hate, hate that Rosie and April have the end in sight.

Cathy S.

I don't know any jokes and had to go to CleanJokes.com to find a joke, but I did it because I want to make you laugh.

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.' The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs... pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a chick with long legs and who agrees with everything I say.'

Mizter

I'm not sure about that going together idea.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpPe6MSEZkM&feature=related

Anne

Mary, I've been dreading this post. I know how hard it is to live with this knowledge on a day-to-day basis right now. I agree with Margaret; you have great love in your heart! All will be well, in time. You and Josh are, and have always been, the best of "parents" and friends to your four-legged children. Oh, and to those other two, as well.

Miz Robyn

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

(I'm sorry, I know it's horribly stupid, but it always makes me cackle.)

PS: I agree with Sasha.

Belle

We had 3 very old kitties and first one went down, then a few months later, the next one went, and then finally.....aargh. Too much, too often, too hard. But then, the thought of losing them all at once? Don't know that I could have done that, either. Sigh. I feel for ya. Such beautiful doggies and I hope you don't have to make that decision too soon.

Can't wait to hear about the assisted/home details! Oh, dear!

the bee

Humor is my favorite form of getting through anything. I will agree with Sasha about the dogs going together but when it is your parents time .. I think maybe let nature take its course. They may get nervous when they hear about the dogs. Now, what is green and rides a horse ?


Answer: The lone pickle

Heidi

Mizter S has a dark, dark sense of humor...

Laura

We went the route of Sasha a few years ago. Hard, but I could not stand the thought of the lonely dog looking for her friend.

What is the difference between broccoli and a booger?

Six-year-olds don't eat broccoli.

Keri

I have another long joke. And I am very late in its delivery, but I have been busy. Boringly busy...

So here goes - from a fellow blogger.

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him. "

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. " We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place. "

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.


"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

Sending you love, Mary.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment