Miz S

Miz S: Taking Care of Business

We had houseguests last weekend, which meant I had to clean up the guest room. The guest room is on the main floor of our house which makes it a really convenient place to put things if you don't know where they go.

Apparently we don't know where a lot of shit goes.

I moved it all upstairs to the other empty bedroom (we used to have kids who lived at home, remember?) and arranged it artfully.

Among other things, there was a gigantic jar filled with coins. I transferred the coins to a paper bag, then put the paper bag inside a little basket because I thought the bag might break. Straightaway, I put it in the back of my car. I pictured that I would just zip up to the bank later and put those coins into the coin machine. I was sure it was a LOT of money. I would get it changed into bills, then surprise Josh by taking him out to dinner. I felt efficient. Miz S, taking care of business! Miz S, getting shit done!

That feeling gradually faded during the week. Every morning when I got to work I would notice the basket with the bag of change in the back of my car.  Well, I'll just take care of that at lunchtime, I would say to myself. Then at the end of the day, when I noticed it again: Oh hell. Well, I'll stop by the bank tomorrow, for sure! Two days later: THOSE STUPID COINS ARE STILL IN MY CAR I HATE THEM SO MUCH.

Yesterday (Friday), I stayed at work until 6, scoring BCRs. (Any public school teacher-readers will sigh sympathetically.) And then, hurrah, I remembered to stop at the bank!

I lugged those coins in, poured 'em into the machine, and stood there rubbing my hands together greedily. The $99 total was mildly disappointing. In my mind, I had been driving around all week with a king's ransom in my car.

I took my basket and my bag and my little receipt over to the customer desk area, and filled out a deposit slip for some checks I had in my purse. I found 2 of the checks, but I was certain there was a third. I had seen it just that morning on my dresser at home and had noticed that if I didn't deposit it by June 1st, it would be void. I MUST have put it in my purse. I began rummaging through my purse with increasing energy. I began taking things out of my purse. Things like: toys I had confiscated at school, copies of behavior referrals for students who had gotten in trouble, little love notes from children at school. Magnetic letters for word study, SERIOUSLY? Is my purse my FILING CABINET/SUPPLY CLOSET now?

I reminded myself to love my Inner Child, however incompetent She might be.

And then: a manager at the bank came over and asked me if I needed any help.

Yes. I looked THAT disheveled and bungling, with my basket and my coin bag, and my pile of crap from my purse.

"Oh, ha ha!" I laughed airily. "I know it looks that way, but I'm fine, really. I'll just finish up with this deposit slip and be on my way! You have a good weekend, now!"

Finally, I located the check. But that was much later, when I got home. There it was, still on the dresser.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, really, except to say that I wish I had a fulltime assistant.

Gotta run. Josh and I are leaving for an adventure! I'll be back in a couple of days. Or months. Whatever.

 

 

 

 

If it's not one thing it's another tra la tra la.

  So much going on! Where to start? Let's work with a bulleted format, shall we?

• My father is rounding out our medical training by developing a brand-new problem. We (my 3 sibs and I) are already somewhat conversant in the language of Parkinson's, aspiration pneumonia, cellulitis, urinary tract infections, head injuries, and hospital psychosis.

• Damn! I almost forgot BEDBUGS.

• This weekend's lesson is Bowel Obstruction!

•  My father was taken to the ER on Thursday because he was nauseous and weak. I drove to the hospital after school, and my sister from Baltimore (Julie) joined me as soon as she could. 

• Any ER is good for people-watching and eavesdropping, but the vignettes are particularly engrossing in a city hospital ER like the one here at George Washington University Hospital. They get a lot of customers straight off the streets.

•  I enjoyed seeing the canine unit on patrol, even in the examining rooms in the back of the ER.  I had to restrain myself from squealing and asking if I could pat the doggie. 

• I adored listening to the man on the other side of the curtain describe his rectal boils and his HIV status. I'm not kidding. I really adored it. Especially when he was saying, " Imma tell you about the bleeding. See, my lady friend and me, we were getting busy. You know, we were getting ready to have a little fun. But then this thing, it just busted out bleeding all over the damn place."

• I found out that I am a very bad driver at 4am, when I have been up for almost 24 hours. I was slapping myself to stay awake. It's a miracle I made it home from the hospital without dying in a fiery car crash. My sister Julie, on the other hand, must be a BEAST, because she had to drive all the way back to Baltimore and she said she was fine.

• Shout out to my work husband, Ellen, who told me not to worry about school, arranged my sub coverage, and pulled together sub plans for Friday. xoxoxox.

• Poor old Dad. He has been subjected to many undignified and painful procedures in the past few days. And yet he remains sweet, polite, and humble. The nurses and the aides adore him, as usual. 

• I am leaving now to go pick him up at the hospital. Talk to y'all later.

All Dogs All The Time

I don't want this to be an All Dogs All The Time blog ('specially for blackbird's sake), but right now it's either that or moan about my job (34 more excruciating days of school) and my parents (wait 'til you hear the new plan). Let's run with the dogs instead. Except we can't exactly run. It will be more of a hobble due to April's arthritis.

Have I mentioned that she is 16 years old? But you saw her on that video, right? She still loves to go on a walk, she still greets us happily. I don't think it's time yet, if you get my drift.

April is being treated with

• daily doses of a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug
• glucosamine
• injections of Adequan

As I mentioned in video #1, she is a little off her feed at times so I am always cooking up some burger or scrambling some eggs to encourage her to eat.

For the last week, her appetite has been horrible. She ate nothing at all for 2 days in a row and we were wringing our hands in despair. NOOOOOOOOO! WE'RE NOT READY FOR THIS!

April refusing warm, freshly-cooked burger.

But Maureen in Alaska (Hi Maureen!) left a helpful hint in the comments that baby food might tempt her appetite. I picked some up yesterday and it was like a miracle drug. I only gave her half of her usual dry food, and then mixed in chicken with gravy and some "chicken sticks" and damn if she didn't eat every single bit of it. With gusto!

Later on, I took her out for a very short leash walk, only 2 blocks so as not to inflame her joints, and I walked as slowly as she wanted to, and waited patiently while she meticulously sniffed every blade of grass on the way. She didn't get overly tired and her legs weren't collapsing when we got back home.

She even took up her usual place in the kitchen when I did the dishes. 

And this morning she ate her full ration of dry food along with the baby food. I am encouraged.

It would be fantastic if she could have a really happy, mostly pain-free summer, and then die unexpectedly in her sleep one night right before we go on vacation.

So, whoever's in charge of that shit, could you please arrange it?

Part 2

Turns out, Rosie DOES have a cold. If you missed the first video you can click here to see it.

I definitely won't be doing a lot of videos from here on out. They take FOREVER to put together. Back to good 0ld-fashioned bare-bottom spankings, I mean, good old-fashioned blogging after this.