Busy, yes, but also floundering about in my usual haphazard way.

From the car window, on the way to work.

Oh how I long for the days when I complained that I was "too busy" to write a blog post.  I don't know what I am, now.  Busy, yes, but also floundering about in my usual haphazard way.

I'm going to make a quilt! I will bake brownies and go introduce myself to that new family around the corner! I will start running again! I will learn Spanish so I will know when the kids in my class are saying bad words! I will have a bountiful vegetable garden this summer, and also an exquisite perennial bed that will be the envy of my neighbors! I will design and build my own henhouse and become a suburban farmer. I will slather moisturizer on my middle-aged legs every single night so the skin will become magically smooth and youthful! IT'S ALL GOING TO BE SO EXTRAORDINARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The reality is dreadfully the opposite, which is always the case with people like me whose enthusiasm is paired with such shocking inefficiency, not too mention the lack of practical skills.

I mean, for chrissake, here it is April 9th and I have done ZIP about our taxes #woe is me.

True, I've been genuinely busy with my parents and my job. But still. Come on.

*     *     *     *     *

I never finished telling you about my referral to the cardiologist HI I'M MIDDLE-AGED.  It was slightly amusing, at least it was to me.  To refresh your memory, my primary-care-physician referred me to a cardiologist because my EKG showed a long somethin' somethin'. QT interval. I prefer to think of it as a "Cutie" interval.

So I snagged an appointment for 4:00pm one day a few weeks ago. A 4:00pm appointment always feels like a big win because then I don't have to take half a day off work, get a sub, etc. But it also means I have to fly out the door at school at 3:30, and my last kid is never gone till 3:20. So, 10 minutes to dash back upstairs, grab my purse, use the restroom, and NOT get entangled in a conversation with a colleague about why Roberto can't read or when we are going to meet about little Amy, etc etc. 

I arrived at the doctor's office on the dot of 4:00, and was taken in to be examined by Dr. S shortly after that.

I expected an old crusty doctor for some reason. Instead I got a damned George Clooney look-alike. Suddenly I became acutely aware that I was  a) slightly sweaty after a long day in first grade, and b) not only had lots of magic marker smears on my hands but had picked at my cuticles and nails until they bled (a very bad habit that has gotten much worse in the last year), and c) I had taken absolutely NO PAINS with my appearance that day, not even a smudge of mascara.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a happily married woman and I understand this was not a date. But still. One has one's pride.  I would expect Josh to feel the same way if he found himself in a paper gown with a doctor who was a dead ringer for Scarlett Johansson. 

"Mr. S., as soon as I finish fixing my hair,  you're going to feel me touch you. Now you're going to feel my finger in your rectum."

There's just nothing good about a handsome, young-ish doctor. It forced me to joke nervously and fiddle with my cell phone and say things like, "I'm tweeting this!"

And when he went through the medical history and asked me questions like, "Any rectal bleeding?" I was all immature and "Gross! No!"

In the end, he pronounced me healthy but wants to follow up with an ultrasound.

I'll schedule that appointment for 4:00 again,  but this time I'll take the entire day off and get a makeover. You feel me?

Comments

[blackbird]

It's awfully good to hear from you. Keep us posted on that sono, will ya?

[Margaret]

HA HA--what is it about this young good-looking doctors these days? The guy who did my colonoscopy was a babe. Thanks for the good laugh!!

[the bee]

Please keep us updated on the sono. My cardio guy is super sexy. What do you want from Dr. Jack Flyer. M.D. stands for Muy Delicioso. There's a Spanish lesson for you. I love how you picked the sexy Scarlett but also chose a rectal exam for the Mister. These are just some of the reasons we love you. xx- the bee

[Cazza]

Good to hear from you. I know what you mean about good looking doctors. Fortunately mine are anything but!

We must be twins. My fingers are so sore from picking the skin around the nails it hurts to type. My psych reckons it's a release cos I bottle things up.

Parents ... *sigh*

Antipodean hugs to you

[Mizter]

I thought the last sentence of the quote was my retort.

[FC]

My dermatologist is a hottie who says things like, "How old are you? ... Wow, good job."
I hate that I only get to see her every 6 months.
heehee

Hey, Glad you are healthy, if a bit sweaty and markered up.

[Karen]

I am a huge list maker and never seem to actually get anything on the list done. But I do make lovely lists. If you can find them.

We haven't done our taxes yet either.

[Laura]

Good to hear from you! I miss you. I have a wonderful, extraordinary life in my head. The guitar-playing, spanish-learning and novel-writing are so nice in there.

[Cazza]

MIZTER!!!!!! I'm gobsmacked!

[Miz S]

He's horrible, yes? Perhaps I will have to moderate comments?

[Liza Lee Miller]

I always find myself heaving a sigh of relief and thinking, "Oh, I thought it was just me." Thank you for that! :) But, not for the image of Josh being probed by Scarlett Johansson.

[Maggie]

Am so thankful my doctors are all women or not hot men older than I am. Was referred to PT a few years ago and got hot young doctor. Jeez, suddenly reverted to feeling like I was in Jr. High. Hideous. Only unattractive doctors for me!

[Liz Michalski]

How sad is it that I am just so darn happy to read a blog post by you that I'm OKAY with the mental image of Josh and Scarlett?

[bonnie]

Yoga's restorative with straps, bolsters and blocks;
It's sister science, Ayurveda, negates the need for docs.

Regarding colon health, yoga teaches mula bandha;
Elimination = illumination is Ayurveda's mantra.

Scarlett declared in 2008 that she was engaged to Obama.
Josh, keep your thoughts on the Miz and give up on that biz; Feel the Shankha Prakshalana.

[Stokesia]

Totally!