Pills Before Coffee! PILLS PILLS PILLS

 

Sasha and Evangeline helped me take my parents to Mass on Sunday. (I love you girls soooo much.) Can you see my dad's bruises from his most recent fall?

Thank you all for your comments and emails after my last post. You are all helpful and/or funny and/or comforting. Several of you reminded me not to be too hard on myself. Honestly, I don't think I was being particularly hard on myself. I really don't think it's okay to say harsh things to someone who has a devastating and incurable brain disorder. And my display of hysterical sobbing was clearly an over-reaction and was upsetting for my father, mostly. My father should not be upset. He is the quiet hero in this whole scenario.

Having said all that, I also recognize that family dynamics will always play a role here. My mother's temper and her refusal to listen to reason are a traditional source of difficulty for me. So, it's understandable that this situation would push my buttons.

Here's the really funny thing:

My mother was right. The nurses were fucking up her medication.

She takes eye drops for glaucoma and some other old person geezer eye thing, one set of drops in the morning and one set of drops at night. Except as far as I can tell she didn't get her drops but maybe once in the first 10 days. So, FAIL.

After consultations with my sibs, all medication has been turned back over to her and you cannot believe how happy she is now. For one thing, she TRIUMPHED. The despots at the nursing station can kiss her withered ass! Also, she feels like she has regained some of the control over her own life. I am beginning to understand how important this is for both of my parents.

I set up a little "system" for her, and I have no idea if it will work or not.

One of my mother's most endearing characteristics is that she thinks everything her children do is pure genius. My little medicine layout completely blew her mind.

"Mary L.! [my family calls me Mary L] This must have taken you HOURS! I have never seen anything like this! You need to tell Josh to come over here and take a picture! [She thinks that Josh is the only one who has the special knowledge needed to push the button on the camera.] And you need to send it in to a medical magazine! The doctors need to know about this! This is a good way for people to remember their medicine!"

And I'm laughing and saying, "Ma! Honestly!"

And she's saying adamantly, "Mary L! I'm serious! You must submit this to the Journal of the American Medical Association!"

How funny is that?

I made her this check off chart too, which I think will not work for her. Too confusing, too busy. But Nathanial (Emma's beau) suggested last night that I do a separate strip for each medication so she doesn't have to deal with a whole chart. We'll see.

This was her old system back at the house. How funny is that? The only reason it worked is that my nephew had alarms set for every pill time and would stand over her until she took it.

Oh, and I know one of you is going to suggest one of those pill box thingies. We've tried that before and she didn't go for it. She really wants to deal directly with the labeled bottle of medication rather than plain, unmarked pills. Which, when you think about it, makes sense.

So anyway, all is well here in Elder Care Land. I have put Mr. Suffocation Pillow back in the closet.

Wait, is that an example of inappropriate humor?

Comments

[Kathy]

That is a genius pill system! And yes, the suffocation pillow was inappropriate. And funny! God! I'm as sick as you!

[Maggie]

Inappropriate or just damned funny??

Well it's disheartening that the home was screwing up her medications. Your system is very user friendly though - perhaps the Journal of the AMA should be sent a photo (by Josh, of course ;-)

[MsCellania]

You could make a million selling the sit com of your life. I can totally see Cloris Leachman playing your mother...
I am thinking your organization system could work for my daily chores! The boys would appreciate the 3 meals a day reminder (Hey! I sometimes forget to feed them but they are good little scroungers). I could even have a once-a-month bin, in which 'blow-dry hair' would be one of the occupants.
I think your mother being in control of her meds is a good thing for now. That nephew of yours who formerly did the monitering is a Saint, A SAINT, I tell ya!

[Liza Lee Miller]

Laughing that your mother was right. And, MsCellania is right. Your nephew is saintly!

Mary, your solution is genius and the AMA should be notified. Plus, it looks exactly like a teacher solution so I thoroughly approve! You go girl!

Glad all is well in the land of the Elderly.

And, Mary, thank you for sharing. Your humor (both appropriate and in-) are brilliant and helps to ease me into the future (when I'll be the one writing about my delves into the land of the elderly -- only without all the humor. More ranting! Less humor! :D -- anyway, thank you!!!

[blackbird]

Someone needs to send you a fucking medal.

[Margaret]

So many pills! I think you are a genius too. I would still be wringing my hands over the complexity of it all.

[the bee]

I also am awed by your system. I think it is very teacher looking. Please do not put that pillow away just yet because I need to suffocate myself this week. Keep it handy. Your parents are adorable. I always say that because it is true.

[FC]

Who doesn't love it when their kid does something really neat?
Go MOM!

Great shot of your girls and their grandparents. A shot to be treasured, bruises and all.

[kris (lower case)]

somehow for the amount of money i am sure they are paying for that place i would think someone could come down with their coffee and say..remember your morning pills and stand there while they take them.. it is a good system you thought up though.

[Cathy S.]

Regading the the suffocation pillow joke, I did for a moment feel concern because I wasn't sure it was a joke and I thought you were talking about yourself! Were I in your shoes, I might be mulling that over, but you have too much courage balanced with humor to be going there.

[Pam L]

So, have you heard from the AMA yet about your award?

Oh yes, the little pill box thingy. Those are great, so great my Dad had 4 or 5 of them. Why? Because my sister would fill them up for him and leave it on his kitchen table . He would take one set of pills and then promptly hide the box somewhere. What really happened was he cleaned up, but every time he would put the box in a different place so each time my sister came they had to hunt it down. Sometimes (4 or 5 actually) never finding it. He would claim someone came in and stole it, just like they took his watch and wallet that he spent a good part of the day, every day, looking for. She even tried double sided tape to secure it to the table but Dad triumphed over that. It IS about control and they do want to keep some and who can blame them? I know I'm going to be a real stinker when they start trying to take it away from me.

[Pam L]

Oh and regarding medications at assisted living places. To be a resident there my Dad had to be able to function on his own and if he refused to take meds or lost them once given to him, they cannot force him to take them or give him more as that would be a nursing home function and not assisted living. They do not have a Dr there , he has his own Dr. who he has to go out to see and who orders his meds. They do dole them out to him twice a day because everyone there is memory impaired person but that's all they do.

[pickles & dimes]

I am laughing at the "early pills first!" It's so beautiful in its simplicity. :)

[Dusty]

OMG your father's face!

[Swistle]

I am kind of enthused about your medication system, too. I use a pill box for convenience, but I too would rather deal directly with the bottles. What you've done, essentially, is make a giant pill box with enough room for the entire bottle, PLUS it's customized with times instead of being, like, "a.m." and "p.m."

Also, I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE WAS RIGHT ABOUT HER MEDICATION!!!!

[Laura]

Don't tell her, but sometimes I take my early pills WITH coffee.

[Karenth]

Re: Pillow Humor. It is only inappropriate if you write it where someone can stumble across it and read it. Heh, heh.

Question: Should I be worried? Early this morning I found a "PM" pill in my "AM" box.

Mary, you are such a wonderful human to share all this with us. We all laugh ourselves silly, love you, worry about you, and learn so, so very much from you and your family.
(note to self: consider the possibility that my Mom DOES know what she's talking about!)

[vicki]

PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! This post is a reminder that the 2 I take each day at nearly but not quite 60- and HATE taking- could quickly multiply to what? 9 or 10 she has there? Oh, yeesh, this is depressing. Suffocate me now.

Perhaps I'll go right a Bud post. He's up to no good at the assisted living home...

Maybe you'll make enough off this pill system from the AMA that you won't have to go back to school next month...