Hey.

Thanks for all your sweet comments and good wishes. Evangeline is none the worse for the wear, but one hopes that she has a new appreciation for the sneaky nature of The Diabetes. A certain level of complacency had crept into our psyches, I think. She didn't even have her glucagon kits with her at college. (Glucagon is a hormone that signals your liver and muscles to release stored glucose. A glucagon kit contains a syringe and a vial of glucagon that can be injected into someone who has lost consciousness due to hypoglycemia. Diabetics are supposed to train the people around them to use it in case of an emergency.)

Anyway. She has all that stuff now, and she has a new policy about what her glucose number should be at bedtime.

But let's not forget the really important lesson that we all learned from this incident which is that premarital sex saves lives. I will never get tired of that line because I am pathetically immature which most of you know all too well. (Do NOT judge my lackadaisical parenting.  Nathanial is her long-time boyfriend and she is 21 years old.)

Alright. Enough of the diabetes talk.

Back to ME and that hell-hole where I work (which is how Jane referred to my school in a recent message and it made me chortle).

So, on Tuesday I got reacquainted with my students who had only known me for 2 days before I left. They ran wild with the sub and had to be re-gentled. I still have some problems with the way my furniture is arranged WHY AREN'T CLASSROOMS BIGGER? But, I gotta say, my classroom looks better than it has ever, ever looked, and I am being completely anal about cleaning up every day and not letting any piles build up. Go me.

Ha, this is funny to me: I have a little girl whose name is Marychrist, all one word. Everyone keeps saying to me, "Are you sure it's pronounced that way? Are you sure it's not christ with a short i?"  No. It's christ with a long i. That's her name.

Anyway, she's quite the little pip and often needs to be "redirected." Many, many times a day I find myself saying her name. And if her offense is egregious or it is almost 3:00 and I am getting testy, it sounds a little bit like I am swearing. "MaryCHRIST! Keep your hands to yourself!" etc.

I am easily amused.

Must run. Time to shower and get ready for the hell-hole.

Comments

[Mykal]

I love your premaritial sex line.

I have a friend that recently got a job in condom R&D(for Trojan!) and I think that is awesome. I keep telling people that my friend works in condom R&D and I never really get sick of it but I'm pretty sure 100% of the people I tell don't care (everyone reading this probably doesn't care but I think it's amusing so oh well.)

[blackbird]

Oh what I'd give for a vial of Glucagon, which, in my house, is the stuff that needs to be injected into K when his esophagus closes and he can't swallow for hours on end. Good times.
I'm thinking of using MaryCHRIST instead of some of my usual words.

[Leah]

3 cheers for premarital sex! I'm so glad she's ok.

[Laura/DaPFG]

maybe her parents were going for, like, MaryCatherine or something likewise holy-ish, but she just pissed them off and they made a last minute change :P

yay for no piles!! we expect a weekly pile check-in, k? :P

[Pam L]

Sounds like her parents named her quite appropriately, pip that she is.There is no way you can say that name without it sounding blasphemous and funny , especially when "re-directing" her.

While I never used pre-marital sex to save a life, it sounds like something everyone should know how to do.

[Belle]

I'd say the boyfriend has a free pass from now on! :)

I have piles on my desk from 3 years ago when we moved into our new building. I love piles at work. It's the ones at home that I cannot stand but am guilty of, nonetheless.

Glad E is doing well!

[cindy]

i think it would be even funnier if you called Marychrist's name, but preceded it with Holy! i hear you now - Holy! Marychrist please keep your hands to yourself.

[Liza Lee Miller]

When I told my husband about Evangaline's episode (? incident?), his first comment was that you'd now be *insisting* that the boyfriend move in with her. :) Of course, we lived together for several years before we got married so we're biased! :)

Loving Marychrist. That's awesome. Loved your line about regentling the students. After yesterday's 100F Back-to-School night preparations in my classroom, my students are probably feeling the need to re-gentle me. Grumpy teachers are SO much fun. Sigh.

[Lori]

Love everything about this post. Premarital sex saved my life, too. OK, just kidding.

[FC]

Well, I had signed up for that CPR course so I could be a life saver, but now, I think I'll look for a PMS class since a PreMarital Sex lifesaving class sounds much more interesting.
The abbreviation scares me a little though.

[bonnie]

You are a consummate mother and teacher, Miz S. Marychrist, indeed!

I am a dinosaur, as you know, regarding teaching my dearies about playing the saxophone and buying condominiums:

First comes love,
Then comes marriage,
Then comes the babies
In the baby carriage.

xo

[bonnie]

Then "come" the babies, I meant to type, because Miz S. is too busy to have to correct my grammar.

"Consummate" is fine when the day is done
But "come" is an even comelier pun!

[Magge]

I've long believed that premarital sex saves lives (once again Catholicism and I part ways).

Also MaryCHRIST - ha HA! I agree with one of the earlier commenters that it's possible her parents were aiming for something more traditional and then she pissed them off again.

[Glenna]

Maybe it was Marychristina, but the data entry form did not have enough spaces for letters so they went with what they had room for?

My father once had a student in one of his classes named Jesus deJesus (pronounced the spanish way). Perhaps we should introduce them when she's older and hope that Marychrist would marry Jesus for the awesome combination of names that would result?

[Fay]

I think a "Premarital Sex Saves Lives" t-shirt is in order for Evangeline. :)

[Margaret]

That Bonnie is a pip! I'm happy about the life-saving properties of pre-marital sex. I'm also glad that my daughter has a roomie in Seattle (her boyfriend) because that makes me feel more secure about her in the Big Bad City. MaryChrist--that name makes me laugh.

[Vanessa]

Marychrist is going to be my new curse word of choice.

[Xila]

Condom R & D. That's totally hilarious. I wish I worked in that field. Now, wouldn't that change the comic strip Lil Abner? MaryChrist! I love it. In my classes we have a Charisma and a Genesis. What's wrong with Amana, Fedex, or HebrewNational? Does everything have to be Christian right?

[Swistle]

My favorite parts:

1. The premarital sex saving lives thing, which I have thought of several times since you told the original story, and have wanted to tell my parents about but haven't dared.

2. Re-gentled.

3. Quite the little pip.

[vicki]

Does this mean you'll be voting for Sarah Palin? I'm so glad she's all well and good and happy. That Bonnie IS a pip- I love her! That reminds me- I need to go see how the Spartans are doing, because the Wolverines are doing just fine this beautiful afternoon.

Our next door neighbors in Ann Arbor when Daniel was a tiny tot were the original Border's of Borders Books. Her name was Mary Carmel Borders and she had 4 other sisters, all named Mary this or that so she went by Carmel. Dan adored her and whenever he saw her he'd hop up and down and pipe, "Hi Carnal! Hi Carnal" So we all called her Mary Carnal, especially when she was pregnant.

[manager mom]

Maybe her parents purposely named her with a swearlike name because they knew she was going to be trying...

[pmartillo]

Sorry but I gotta judge!!
Here's my decision: That Nathaniel is truly a keeper!
Young men like that are a rare find these days.
Please thank him for renewing my faith in young men.

[Wende]

Well, clearly MaryChrist's parents has a prescient moment when naming their child. :D

[Gail]

Is MaryChrist's name a self-fulling prophesy, or did her parent's have a premonition?
I'm so glad E's boyfriend was there to save her, but I don't think I will mention to my daughter (19 going on 20-something) your line about premarital sex saving lives. ;~)

[Kimberly]

You totally had me giggling with the sex and poor Marychrist.

Made me think of the backwards wisdom of our naming the other dog Jack. It flows so easily into Jack ASSSSSS!

[Kara]

Oh that is so scary!!! I'm so glad that Evangeline is better. :)

[vicki]

Little rapscallions wearing you out?

[TheOtherRobyn]

MareeeeChrist?! What the heck were her parent's thinking? Is her brother's name GawwwDamnit?

It has been many moons since my life was saved by premarital sex; however, I do remember it well! (Sighhhh.... the good old days! Married him! Too many details...but I didn't want to sound so, um, well, you know! MaryChrist!)

[ceressa]

"premarital sex saves lives" I say let us go all out and make up bumper stickers and tee shirt for the cause!

[THE BEE]

You have Mary Catherine Gallagher in your class? I love it !
I just love that E has learned from her experience and taught others along the way. That boyfriend is a gem. I will be using Marychrist in every sentence that requires cursing. xxoo - the bee

[Angie]

It must be a very long week in hell.

[Laura/DaPFG]

ahem. a week and a half and no pile updates...surely it's too soon for them to have buried you underneath??

[Lori]

I can has Miz S? Come back to the internets pls.

[Belle]

I keep checking on you....and zip, nada, nil. Sigh.